Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Reenactment (The Sequel)

Scene: 11:50 am, Car, driving to the movie theater.

Players: Three boys and a frazzled mother. (Son #4 chose to sit this movie out.)

Son #1: "What’s for lunch?"

Mom: “Hello! Popcorn! What else do you eat at a movie??”

Son #2: “Popcorn isn’t lunch mom.”

Mom: “Hold it son! If chocolate rabbits are ok for breakfast, popcorn is ok for lunch, I’m calling this one.”

Son #3: “Can we at least get hot dogs at the theater?”

Mom: “Oh sure, I’ll just take $50.00 out of your savings account and that should cover it.”

Son #1: “Nice try mom, we know you are kidding.”

Mom: “A mom’s gotta try…”

Scene: Waiting in line for tickets, Mom is horrified as she glances at Son #3, also known as B.

Mom: “What the heck happened B! Your pump tubing is flapping in the wind…when did it get ripped out of your pump??”

Son #3: “Seriously Mom, if I knew, I would have told you.”

Mom: “UHG! I’ll MacGyver it…We’ll work it out.”

Son #2: “What is MacGyver?”

Mom: “Not what…who. He is a really smart man…almost as smart at me.”

Scene: Sitting inside the theater, waiting for the movie to start. Boys balancing popcorn on their knees, hands full of hot dogs and napkins.

Mom: “J, bolus for the food, and when it is done, give me your pump, I’ll hook up B and give him insulin through the prime so it doesn’t show up on your IOB. B, hand me your pump, I’ll put in your carb and BG amounts so I’ll know how much to give you through J’s pump.”

(Scary thin balding Man sitting in front turns his head, intrigued at the medical/spy-like jargon.)

B, rifles through his pockets. He pauses. He rifles again. He stands, and thrusts his hands down every pocket his shorts have.

Son #3: “Huh, weird, I don’t have my pump, don’t worry, it’s probably at home.” (Nonchalantly sits down and continues to watch previews like it’s no big deal…)

Mom: (Paralyzed in fear…mind racing…’probably??? Probably???’) “How can you just not know where your pump is B? What do you mean probably? Did you take it out of your pocket? Where is it?!!”

Son #3: “I have no idea…it’s probably at home…don’t freak out mom.”

Mom: Freaking out. Pictures of a lone pump sitting on the sidewalk, with young punks walking by picking up the curious purple video game like contraption, flash through her head. $5000 gone. Just gone. “Does anyone have their cell phone? I left mine at home.” (Nope, not one boy has their cell phone.) “I’m going to the car…stay here! Don’t talk to strangers… (Discreetly pointing to scary bald guy in front of them,) Don’t go to the bathroom…I’ll be RIGHT back!”

Scene: In front of the theater. Mom barges through the theater doors, eyes blazing, hair flying, hands in front of her flat with fingers spread, using the spaces between her fingers as virtual magnifying glasses. Walking quickly, scanning, manic…all the way back to the car…looking in gutters, evil-eyeing the punks…ready to cry…opening the door…

It is there.

On the seat.

The pump.

Probable victim of a seat belt.

(Big fat sigh of relief.)

Scene: Movie theater…again.

Pump has bolused son #2 and son #3 and now is back in son #2’s pocket.

Crisis averted, movie thoroughly enjoyed…

Just another Pancreatical day. (Pancreatic/hysterical=my new favorite word.)

22 comments:

  1. Thanks for the entertainment this morning! I love reading the life of another pancreatical day! :)

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  2. LOL...OK now that is FUNNY and I don't know how you do it Meri. Seriously...the missing pump AND tubing disconnected hanging willy-nilly.

    And the guy in front of you did sound a little creepy.

    This was a great post. Thanks for sharing friend.

    Have a great day.

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  3. I could not stop laughing the whole time I was reading this - I know it is NOT funny when you're living it, but you have such a great way of expressing yourself!

    Does that mean we are old if we know who MacGyver is and the little ones don't? My whole family used to love watching that show.

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  4. Man I don't know how you do it!!! I probably would of left the movie in tears at the 1st sight of tubbing flapping in the wind!
    Glad you enjoyed an afternoon with most of your boys! :)

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  5. Ha ha ha ha! I laughed my head off reading this and didn't understand half of what you said. Thanks for the much-needed chuckles today.

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  6. Oh my gosh...you are AMAZING!!! I am in AWE of you and how you just go with the freakin' flow! And yeah, I laughted my head off, too!

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  7. You guys are so funny.
    I don't know how you always turn crazy into comedy.

    Just think... if you thought balk guy was weird... in=magine what he thought of ya'll :)

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  8. What a story! I loved reading it. I can just imagine your relief after finding the pump and giving the boys their insulin. There's never a dull moment, is there?! :)

    Pancreatical is a GREAT word!

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  9. and this made both my husband and I laugh hysterically....only us parents of these cute little ones would find it so funny.

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  10. That was just like watching MacGyver - it was SO suspenseful and hilarious.

    You are one Rocking D Momma!

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  11. Meri - I have been reading your blog for awhile and haven't commented before - but I have to say

    YOU ROCK!

    Jill R. (DD(11) dx 6/09)

    PS - we live in the east bay

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  12. Meri, You are the best! I always think of your strenght when I am about to loose it with D.
    Love,
    Raisa

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  13. Meri,

    Thank you, once again, for your posts. I find myself clicking on your website in those moments when I am looking to feel less alone on this unpredictable journey.

    I was wondering if you might have a brief moment to share with me the status (odd word choice) of your sons' fingers. I have a five year old (diagnosed at 20 months) who is increasingly bothered by the finger tip pain caused from frequent checks. It is not necessarily the pain at the point of contact, but rather a persistent soreness that lasts throughout the day. It appears to be worsening. Any advice?

    Best,
    Carrie
    cquint@juno.com

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  14. I can imagine there is rarely a dull moment in your house when you have THREE boys with type 1! I have two daughters who have T1 and some days are definately crazier then others, although we don't have pumps yet so I haven't had the "pleasure" of going through a missing pump :) I have had a bad moment of leaving the house without their blood glucose meters and only realizing it as we are about to go out to lunch...YIKES...my heart about stopped that day!

    I felt like the worst mother of the year that day. Thanks for the great story and a good laugh.

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  15. Meri,

    Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and leaving me that wonderful comment! It feels so nice to finally start connecting with other D-moms who truly understand all that I am going through. I'm so glad I started blogging and I look forward to getting to know all of your amazing D-moms :)

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  16. okay, I can't stop giggling. I could so picture myself freaking out and doing the same thing. I'm still working on starting the blog thing. How do you find out about all these new blogs, how great that you are building such a support system for these newly diagnosed families.

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  17. HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That totally cracks me up!!!!!! Sorry to laugh at your expense, but that was FREAKING HILARIOUS!

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  18. Oh my word! And other few days are taken off the end of your life from the fear that went through you! So funny - "don't freak out,mom".

    That is very MacGyverish!

    Hope it was a good movie! :)

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  19. U rock! Your writing rocks! Interesting story...you handled it like a pro! Awesome-ness is a super sweet package named Meri!

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  20. Holy smokes! What an experience! I would have watched years flying off my life dealing with all that stress.

    I agree with everyone else though, you handled it magically! And the story was very entertaining/suspenseful!

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