Tuesday, July 25, 2017

A 4am plea to Insulin Pump Companies.

Let’s get real here.

There is an insulin pump defect that needs to be addressed. The defect is mostly affecting teenagers, Although children and adults everywhere are susceptible to the consequences this defect provides…


Let me lay this out for you. I’m going to talk about teenagers here. (Not about your teenager, I’m sure your teenager is an honor student, and perfectly obedient to all alarms, and does most everything right, and would never even fathom what’s about to go down here. Ok? This probably doesn’t apply to you…but you can keep reading. For pity, or you know…to boost your self-esteem….I get it…)


I’m fully aware that teens’ frontal lobes haven’t completely connected properly…they’re victims until the mid 20’s.

I know they’re at a disadvantage. I know it isn’t their fault.



A lot…

Teenagers as a collective?

YES!…teenagers as a group can’t do all the necessary remembering all the time.  Their brains just don’t have the synapsis for reason to travel upon. 

Sometimes they forget. Or procrastinate.


Ok, listen.

It’s 4 am.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of all pump companies, asking for some love. A little help here, please?

When a pump runs out of insulin, there needs to be epicness.

Sure the synapses are still working on creating their paths from one side of the brain to another, but for teens there is one synapse that has a sure, well connected path: The Embarrassment Synapse.

When insulin runs out on a pump…you guys need to make it embarrassing for teenagers.

So they’ll actually add more insulin.



You’re sweet little “No Delivery” notification isn’t cutting it.

You need to be more creative.

There needs to be a noise. An unbearable noise. One that will only go away once fresh insulin is added to the reservoir.

Screeching cicadas?

Weird Al Yankovich singing “Ice Ice Baby?” But like, not making the words funny…just straight out singing it over and over and over again.

Or I don’t know…I’m just snowballing here…but maybe a hologram can pop up from their pumps of their mother telling stories about potty training them… at age 8?

Something super embarrassing.


It HAS to be embarrassing for it to work.

Because if it happens and it’s embarrassing the first time? There will not be a second time. Period. (I mean, I know there was a period there, but I had to write it out for emphasis.) 

Teenagers will avoid embarrassment at any cost.

Super important reiteration: It can’t stop. The noise, the hologram, all of it…it must continue until the new insulin is in the pump. Even if the battery is taken out.

There must be no dismissal.




I am tired of waking up in the middle of the night to empty reservoirs.

Sure, I make them change it themselves. I’m not going to make it easier for them to ignore…

But I still have to get out of bed and make them lucid enough to understand the words, “YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR SET RIGHT NOW. NO. INSULIN.”

It’s harder than it sounds. There was one time one of them went downstairs and just fell asleep on the couch.

Also, waking them completely wakes me.

It doesn’t happen all the time so don’t get all huffy, lecturing me on the divine nuances of parenthood.

They are teenagers. THEIR BRAINS ARE AT A DISADVANTAGE.  It’s a scientific fact.

Yes, it's super frustrating when it happens. And even though it isn’t all the time, or all that often…It FEELS like all the time. Ok?

Look it.

We need magic.  Magic help.

You can do it pump people. YOU CAN. 

I totally believe in you.



  1. "there needs to be epicness" <----YES!

  2. I so agree! There should be no way to ignore that. It should get louder and louder and louder!

  3. I'd like to add that a LOW with an arrow down on the CGM should create a noise that wakes the dead and doesn't stop until
    Someone turns it off. Similar to the Lost iPhone sound.

  4. Wow...sometimes I get to thinking it is just my teenager...you make us seem almost normal. Thanks for your writing...you make it all better!

  5. The screatching pod of death wakes us up! Omnipod ;)

  6. LOVE this post!! Yes, I sooo agree!!

  7. All the YESES!! That same screeching cicadas sound should be used for when your pump battery is low...just sayin....

  8. When I supervised a traffic department our joke was that school safety zones needed to be a giant hand that reaches out and slaps the car of anyone who speeds. Otherwise the school zones were just getting ignored. Maybe pump manufacturers need a really big hand as well.

  9. Go Omnipod! It emits the shrill screech of death when it runs out of insulin. Can't miss it, and it doesn't stop until you change it!!

  10. OMG...you are singing music to my ears. It's not just teenagers...my kid is 8...it takes her idk...like 4 hours to go through 20 units with a meal. How can you possibly thing that an alarm that goes off once, with 20 units of liquid gold left is going to get changed right away...must be crazy. Then when the insulin runs out, invariably in the middle of the night because i forgot that half a day ago the alarm went off...its quieter than a microwave and the only person who could possibly hear it is my 8 year old who can sleep through a train wreck!!! Thanks...I feel better.

  11. T slim. SO LOUD WHEN IT RUNS OUT. And it WON'T STOP.


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