Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Blaming backfires.


Fault: (Noun) An unattractive or unsatisfactory feature in a piece of work or in a person’s behavior.

Fault: (Noun) Responsibility for an accident or misfortune.

Fault: (Verb) Criticize for inadequacy or mistakes.

We live in a world where everyone wants to find fault.

Things are going very wrong and to cope, we want someone to blame. Someone to aim our anger and frustration.

This has gotten out of hand online. There are those who blame and hate, who need little or no evidence to back up their assumptions. There are some who are not afraid to spew judgment and heated remarks over their keyboard, even though when face-to-face they would be kind and unassuming.

We hold on to blame like a security blanket. It stops us from seeing our own faults, and hones our focus onto circumstances and peoples' actions that are out of our control.

Finding fault seems to release us from feeling any fault of our own.

It’s a virus that has spread to the very core of our society.

As a result, people feel justified in their bitterness. “If someone else is responsible for all the bad in the world, then I can self righteously stand here and point, and hate.”

But what’s happening is that when one harbors hate, it can’t all be directed outwardly. It is something that lingers inside and changes the very fiber of who we are. We don’t need to be held accountable for our actions if our actions are given momentum from someone else’s wrongdoing.

Blaming others for our miserableness can only backfire.

The world seems to be spinning off its axis. Integrity and accountability seems to have all but vanished in the public eye.  And it’s bringing us down.

We cannot feel hate and leave ourselves unscathed.

Bitterness and blame are acid to our hearts.

There is another way.

Love. Kindness. Hope. Action. Respect. These are still important.

Diabetes isn’t going to go away. If we are miserable because of diabetes, it’s not diabetes fault.

The current healthcare climate isn’t going to change soon. If we are unhappy about the ways things are, we must incite change.

But remember, no one has ever changed their mind when they are being accused or blamed. Minds are only changed in real conversations. Those in which ideas can be brought forth and respected on both sides.  Change occurs when we put our souls on the table and talk about how we are feeling.

Our fears. Our hopes. Our confusion.

Blaming won’t solve our problems. Having a conversation beginning with "YOU NEED TO" isn’t going to get us anywhere.

We must find a way to be sincere again. Heaven knows, sarcasm has its place in our society…but sincerity has become something guarded…. something we share only with our inner circles.

What if every one of us became sincere in all our encounters?

What if we entered conflict wanting to talk with someone rather than talking at them?

What if conversations started happening and people actually began listening to each other. Two-way conversations seem to have become a rare commodity these days.

Sure there are idiots out there, but I’d venture to guess that there are many people being blamed for idiocy, rather than the true culprit, simply being uniformed.

If we could change the tone of the dialogue, we could change the world. 

It starts with us. 


It starts at home.

On a hunch I googled "Brene Brown blame" and found this piece of gold. Food for thought...





This is my post for day three of D Blog Week. You can find more info about it HERE.

MERI

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