Sunday, May 13, 2012

We are the D Mothers

We are called D Moms.  D Mamas.   Even Type 3's.

Sometimes we get a bad rap.

~We're too "intense."

~We worry too much.

~We are overbearing.

~We over think.

~We over react.

~We over manage.

And I only have one thing to say about all of that...

You are probably right.

I want to tell you that if you are a parent, you can understand.

But that is not true.

I want to tell you that if you have diabetes yourself, you can understand.

But that is not true either...just as I will never fully understand your diabetic life,
you will never fully understand mine.

The only way you would understand what goes on in the swelly brain of a D Mama,
is if you were a D Mama yourself.

We are special.  Chosen for our story, as you were chosen for yours.

We are fighters, and we will fight until our last breath to keep our children safe.

New technologies like fast acting insulin and insulin pumps provide keys for better management, but they also provide a clear and present danger at all times.

We have to be vigilant.

We look into the eyes of our children and we love them with a bright tenderness.  We want more than anything for them to live a life free from restrictions, free from prejudice, free from complications, free from emergency rooms and hospitals.

We feel a responsibility well beyond any bounds of normalcy.  We do not want to live a life of regrets.  One day we will need to look into the eyes of our adult Type 1 Children and we want more than anything to say...
"I did my best."

The mothers of Type 1's spend every day racked with guilt.   Every blood sugar number pierces our heart.  We feel responsible for every high and every low.

An argument can be made that diabetes is responsible for every one of those numbers, but in our eyes...whether a reasonable notion or not, we feel they are a reflection of our efforts.

We may not always admit it to you, or to ourselves...but we take those numbers personally.

The A1C isn't called the mommy report card for nothing.

We do not sleep.  That is a choice.  We choose to keep a close eye on the numbers while the world takes a break.  We don't take breaks.  We know that waking up with a off number can domino to the rest of the day. 

We know that pancreases sputter.

We know the soccer game from 5 hours earlier can affect the nighttime numbers.
(Yet we urge them to play.)

We know that Pizza can wreak havoc hours after consumption, and we know that Chinese food for dinner means a sleepless night for us.
(Yet we delight in serving them their favorites anyway.)

We know that diabetes never sleeps.  That is why we don't either.

We know that a 200 can turn into a 52 in 30 minutes flat.

We know that on field trip days our children may spike with excitement, or bottom out from activity.

We know nothing is for sure.

So we check, and constantly ask our children how they are feeling...and we hover...watching every move...looking for changes in our children's faces...changes in their gait...tiny beads of sweat on the back of their necks...we know the signs of lows.  We know our children better than anyone else.

We love hard.

We try hard.

We cry hard.

We hug hard.

We hope hard.

We stress hard.

We are hard on ourselves.

We are D mamas.   

Don't judge us because we fret over the details.  To us...Our Diabetic Life is all about the details.

We are 100% responsible for the well being of children we love more than anything on this blessed green earth.

No, we will not back off.

No, we will not calm down.

No, we will not stop making noise.

As mothers, we know that our children are special.  Diabetes makes them stronger.  It makes them resilient, responsible, amazing.  It gives them a sense of humor.  It makes them grow up too fast, and let's them spread their wings too slow.

We wish we could take away the pain. 

We wish it were us.

We are warriors.

We are D Moms.

Hear.   Us.   Roar.


  1. Fantastic! All you "Type 3's" out there have my admiration--and my prayers that The Cure is found soon! Go, D Moms!

  2. Crying. So, so true. Love you, Meri! Happy Mother's Day!

  3. I am bawling my eyes out! So true! Happy Mother's Day to you- from one D Mamma to another!

  4. Best post EVER Meri! We love you, and I hope you have a great Mothers day for YOU!!

  5. Beautiful. Happy Mother's Day, Meri.

    (I think this should be presented to all administrators and staff in conjunction with 504 planning.)

  6. Love it! <3 Hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day!

  7. Hip Hip Hooray for Meri! You always know what to say. This is so true and although others don't get what it is like to be a DMom, your posts give them a glance into what our lives are like.
    God Bless you Meri and the rest of your family.

  8. Thank you for writing this about being a D Mom!! <3

  9. Beautifully written - got me crying, too. Thank you, and happy mother's day!!

  10. thank you Meri, you express so beautifully what I feel

  11. Crying....because you said it so well and because I'm exhausted from working, homeschooling and *trying* to be the best darn pancreas that I can be., love, love, LOVE you! Thank you for this.

  12. <33333

    happy happy happy happy mother's day to you meri!

  13. Tears here, too. SO so true, every word.

    Can we get this set to music as the Battle Hymn for all D-moms?

    You put it into words much better than I did, so I'm linking my Mother's Day post to yours!

  14. Such perfection with your words. Thank-you!

  15. Truer words have never been written. My own husband tells me I worry too much. But type 1 requires vigilence and diligence.Period. 24/7. No time off.

  16. You should consider entering this in the TuDiabetes poetry contest! Also I must add that my hubby meets all this criteria as an awesome and super-involved D Daddy. :-) Stacy Lavery

  17. JUST AMAZING!! thank you <3

  18. Roar!! (That means, I love it!!!) My favorite line "Chosen for our story, as you were chosen for yours." So so true. Happy Happy Mother's Day to a very special Mama!!!

  19. Christi, fellow DMomMay 14, 2012 at 7:29 AM

    Absolutely beautifully said. No apologies. You said it so honestly and perfectly. I have copied it and am keeping it forever. Thank you and bless you! I pray for your family every day. Keep the faith sister.

  20. Way to say it!! And when those little D children grow up to be great young adults, 18 & 21 year olds, you still worry!!!!!!! Forever! You hope you teach them to manage their lives well.
    from another DMom!

  21. Shedding tears over my breakfast...beautiful Meri! Happy Mothers Day from one D mama to another! XO

  22. Did it again, Meri!
    Blessings to you :)

  23. After our first day of forgetting a meal shot and seeing 430... thank you.

  24. My daughter's father is Type 1 and doesn't understand either. Things are much different from when he was diagnosed 20 years ago at 16 and he wants to give her insulin as if she were no longer honeymooning and and adult.

    We must keep on fighting!

  25. Thank you. To read another mom's words as though they were from my own mind is support beyond belief. Thank you for making me feel less alone.

  26. I count on my fellow D Moms for wisdom, understanding and unspoken compassion. Not sure where I would be without them on this journey. Thank you for putting it into words.

  27. You took the words right out of my swelly brain!

  28. One of the most inspiring things I have read as a dmom. Great job!!!!!

  29. Thank you. This is perfect.
    Dmom to Luke Diagnosed at 2

  30. I love your writing. You constantly inspire me. Crying as i read this.
    Mom to 8 year old Chloe T1 . DD august 20112

  31. Hi D Mama's. I came upon this post by chance & want to tell you that every one of you is truly, truly WONDERFUL. I got type 1 when I was 5. I'm now over 40 & have 2 little children of my own to care for. Only now do I fully understand how it was for her now that I have my own. I never really appreciated what my mother had to go through or what she had to do or how my Diabetes changed our family. Your children WILL know how great you are, how you kept them alive, how you tried to make it easier for them, if not now, then when they're older & wiser. Much love & respect.

  32. Love this❤ we will never give up❤��

  33. This is the best ever! I enjoy this so much thank you. You couldn't have said it any better. Being a new D Mom this made me cry.


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