Sunday, March 4, 2012

Choosing Hope

We are very aware that we should be angry, confused and screaming at the fates.
We know we should be withering in a corner shaking with fear and confusion.

But that isn't how it is around the Schuhmacher house these days. There is something bigger at work in our hearts. That something is faith.

We are cognizant of the fact that faith can seem like a fantastic thing. The Lord knowing of our family personally and in turn blessing us with those things we stand in need of can seem practically impossible.

But although it may seem so, at this moment in time we are sure as the day is long that we are being carried by His love.

Ryan and I sat in bed last night and tried to explain to each other the way we were feeling. It is so difficult to describe. Both of us feel like our hearts have stopped beating, but not in a scary...we are going to faint any minute kinda way...it is more of a peaceful calm that has canceled out the buzz of our diagnosis shock. It is pretty unexplainable. How can we feel such peace in such a scary time? It is very surreal.

It is obvious to us that there is a divine hand in all of this.

If you would have asked me a couple weeks ago, I would have told you that the world was full of mostly selfish people who are really bad drivers. Sure, there were pockets of good people all around, but in my limited focus, that wasn't the norm. I lived in a bubble, completely absorbed in Our Diabetic Life. I couldn't look past the annoyances of the world and see people's hearts for what they were.

Well...the bubble has burst. And I see with perfect clarity the overlying goodness of the people in the world. I'm angry at myself for having to go through a crisis such as this to see. People mask their goodness by their hurt sometimes, and it is painfully obvious to me now, that almost everyone is hurting from something. Good lives. And in our case, it has prevailed.

It is almost unfathomable the outpouring of support and love we have received throughout the diabetic community and beyond. Our church family, our blood family, our earth family...they have all reached out to us, and we feel more than anything, abundantly blessed.

We are crying ALL the time. But it isn't due to despair...it is because we are constantly touched by the thoughts and prayers of all of you. Every note, every song, every picture, every blog, every status, every tweet, every call, every meal, every hug, every well wish is burned into our hearts. We are trying hard to accept all the love. It seems silly how easy it is to give love, and so hard it is receive it.

Ryan and I have changed. In one week we are different people. Seems impossible, but I promise it is true. We see the world and every person within in a different light. We feel our Father in Heaven wrapping his arms around us, and we truly believe that our miracle is in the works.

Your prayers and good works are making a difference. We feel them...they are as tangible as the keyboard my fingers type on this moment.

Ryan was never a facebook, twitter or blogging kinda guy. Now, when he wakes up at night and can't sleep he turns on my computer and reads the love. He wants to send a personal message to all of you. That will come soon.

Until then I want to leave you with this quote I found:

"The scriptures say that there must be an opposition in all things. The adversary uses despair to bind hearts and minds in suffocating darkness. Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be. Despair kills ambition, advances sickness, pollutes the soul, and deadens the heart. Despair can seem like a staircase that leads only and forever downward.

Hope, on the other hand, is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father. There may be times when we must make a courageous decision to hope even when everything around us contradicts this hope. As one writer expressed, “in the depth of winter, we find within us an invincible summer.”"

Our family has officially made the decision to Hope. It didn't come at one moment, but rather through small doses of encouragement and prayer throughout this week. Your prayers have brought us the peace we needed to get to this place. Saying thank you is totally insufficient. You have saved us from despair.

How will we ever repay you for that?

God bless each one of you for your goodness.


36 comments:

  1. Con't blessings, prayers, hugs and HOPE!

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  2. beautiful...I can feel the hope and the love and light through every word you type. xoxo

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  3. I know for me, I am the one that needs to repay you for all you have given me these past few years. Thankful that I can stand in the gap with you and your precious family. Love you guys.

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  4. You are amazing. I can't even begin to comprehend the changes and experiences you are going through, (the good and the bad) and I am grateful for your family choosing hope and for the inspiration that is to the rest of us and how it helps to open our eyes to the gifts around us. You've been an inspiration to me from the minute I learned about you..and you are even more so now. You guys will continue to be in our prayers. xoxoxo

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  5. Beautiful post. Sending you much love, prayers, and HOPE!!!!! xo

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  6. Hearing that you have found peace and comfort during this trying time just proves that he is listening! We love you and your family Meri! Endless prayers......

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  7. Ah, this makes my heart happy. Great quote! I think your hope is going to go full circle. I think you're going to end up infusing your friends and family with hope. We're all going to feel your hope and carry it into our own lives.

    Sending ore prayers and love your way!

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  8. Those of us out here in cyber space who have been lucky enough to "know" you and your beautiful family have been blessed by the words of encouragement, cheer, and faith that you always post. If we are a blessing and encouragement to you, it is simply a reflection of the love that you have shared with us countless times. It is an honored to stand along side so many others in lifting your family in prayer before our Heavenly Father.

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  9. http://www.bayrevival.org/media.php

    Please check out these testimonies and believe for your miracles. You can feel the manifest presence right in your home. Watch and be healed in Jesus name!!! Amen.

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  10. I think this week has strengthened the faith of so many. Those of us who are sometimes unsure, can feel the love surrounding you and it helps us see. Its a beautiful thing. We love you all.

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  11. susan o'rourkeMarch 4, 2012 at 10:02 PM

    Wow. My dear friend, you speak words of life to me.

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  12. The lord works in mysterious ways. I have two children with type 1 diabetes too. Thank you for sharing with us. Its awesome how networking has made parents of diabetic children and diabetics not feel so alone. May God bless you and your family.

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  13. Ryan and Meri, I'm trying to lift you all up in prayers whenever I have a few minutes. God bless you and your family at this time, I can't think of an adjective to capture it. Thanks for taking the time to write all of us.

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  14. You speak of faith and it hits home for our family. When I was pregnant with my last child my husband was also given a cancer diagnosis. We quickly learned about "faith" on a much deeper level. My husband had a highly curable type, and hes now in remission for three years. But when it came time to name our child, I wanted something indicative of the time, her name is Estelle "Faith". No greater word or act sums up the journey of cancer. I hope you continue to have the comfort that faith brings because it's through faith the miracles happen.
    Much love and concern, your cousin,
    Stacey Slaney

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  15. Thank you for your words of hope. I also have a child with type 1 diabetes and am going through another trial in my life. Somertimes its so easy to despair. Some days are filled with joy and others despair. I am trying to be hopeful each day. Your words have encouraged me to hope. Thank you!

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  16. It's so good to hear from you Meri. We are all thinking of you, praying for you and we are holding you in our hearts. Sending you love, my friend.

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  17. Love that quote you included...So beautiful. Despair can truly suffocate. I know it has ruined life for many. Thankfully, you're living and seeing with faith in God...where all his possible through his will...you're on my mind all the time. I'm so happy those messages are also bringing your husband hope...sometimes it just takes something little to speak to someone...Amy

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  18. Ryan, Meri, and boys...I have been praying for your family off and on since I began reading your blog. My mind could hardly comprehend Type 1 times 3, being the mom of a Type 1 myself. I often turn to your blog for words of encouragement when it comes to battling this disease. Last week, when I first heard about Ryan, I was overwhelmed with compassion and sadness. I have been standing in faith with your family daily for your miracle. Today's post was, once again, so powerful in overcoming doubt and despair with the greater message of HOPE and transformation. Amazing! Thank you for inspiring others in your own time of need. May our faithful Heavenly Father continue to bless and keep you all.

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  19. Meri, your post is so inspiring. My hope is that God will continue to provide you with serenity and strength to deal with the odds. Keep your faith. You're in everyone's hearts.

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  20. Beautiful! And we choose Hope too. Much love and many prayers from the Blass/Nimlos family.

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  21. Beautiful post Meri. Our faith is strengthened through our trials and storms. It's amazing to feel God's presence so close when you so desperately need Him. God bless you all!!!!

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  22. You continue to amaze and inspire me...even when we are supposed to be the ones holding you up! I choose HOPE!

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  23. Love Ya (Even More) / Mean It

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  24. You and your family are so often in my thoughts and prayers.. I have also asked my family, our church and many others to remember your family in prayer..God is in control!

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  25. Your family has been such an inspiration to ours since our son was diagnosed with diabetes. You have made me laugh and cry several times throughout our journey with diabetes, and to have your family now be receiving back a bit of the love and support you have provided to countless others is a wonderful thing. You've got a nice hunk of people now praying for your family in the adoption community as well.... so not only continued prayers for feeling, but prayers for continued love and warmth and peace to wrap up all of you.

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  26. Faith, love and hope are some of His greatest gifts. Wishing you continued peace and love, and that all of us can choose hope with such courage.

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  27. My boys and I heard your story and we are praying here in So Cal. We also had the prayers of hundreds and thousands for our dad last year, and had a miraculous recovery. We know of the tangible peace and faith and calm in a very scary time. It's amazing. Changed my life.

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  28. You have always inspired me... on the days when we are struggling to battle the d-monster, I'd read your blog and see your grace in dealing with it x3. I'm praying for your continued faith, hope, and healing!

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  29. I love that quote - thank you for sharing that! It's beautiful. You are indeed full of grace and a huge inspiration to so many. Wishing you continued hope, peace, love and healing.

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  30. Your family's choice of hope is a miracle. Glad you're getting so much support - and for each message you do hear, there are hundreds of other people wishing you well behind them.

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  31. Another voice wishing you all well.

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  32. Schuhmacher Family...you continue to inspire the World ... yet again. Love and Prayers being sent your way 24/7 BABY!!!!

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  33. You are all so incredible, When I called my Mom this morning, I cried, and she did too when I told her what had happened in your family. I wish I lived close by so I could do something more, but know that me, all my family, and the entire Williamsburg Retirement Community in Logan are praying for you and yours! We have faith that you are in good hands, and that God does answer prayers! :) (((HUGS & LOVE)))))

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  34. Meri... your words are simply amazing.... obviously you and Ryan and the boys make up an amazing family filled with faith, hope, and love... your blogs always inspire me, make me laugh, or cry. I wish there were more people like you in the world and I wish I had your unfaltering outlook on everything, even in the toughest of times. May God bless you and keep your family safe. I know we have never met in person, but it is not difficult to know you through your writing. Thank you!!!

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  35. Oh Meri-we are still praying! You are such a wonderful writer, and you are so worthy of so much love and so many prayers. I hope you can receive all the love, I know you are amazing at giving. ; ) Girl, I love to hear the hope in your voice-God will carry you through. We are still thinking of you, sweet friend! Big hugs to all of you! Holly

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