I'm scaling the Back to School Alps and it has occurred to me that I'm tired of taking this trek.
Even though my muscles seem stronger, and this year's hike will seem easier than last years, it still is laborious...and not even a little bit fun to think about.
To start off...I miss my boys. I know that is lame. But they are the reason I smile.
Secondly, when you've taken the same hike over and over and over again...the beauty is lost on you.
The same scenery is lackluster at best.
Oh lookie there...it is the "beginning of the school year lows"...yay.
And over that hill is the classic "forgot to call you with my blood sugar."
Three miles up is where they are "too excited to eat their lunch, so they just eat the cookie Tommy gave them."
"TOMMY!!" (Said in the same voice Seinfeld said 'NEWMAN!!')
Scurrying over there is the elusive "forgetting to bolus for breakfast."
Been there. Done that.
And then the worst part of the hike..."the lake of low self esteem, and worry of what others think of my pancreating."
I've been pushed into that water more times than I want to count.
I feel like it is groundhog day and I will live the same scenarios over and over and over again.
Man, just call me Debbie Downer. :(
The back to school blues get to me every year. The start of the hike is always the worst. I know the mistakes that lay in the horizon. I know the guilt that is to come.
I am a seasoned hiker now...but no matter how great I navigate the course...no matter how nimble I am in scaling the obstacles...I just wish the course was flat.
I wish the terrain wasn't as rocky.
I wish it was easy.
But somewhere deep down in the recesses of my soul...somewhere I can't place...somewhere...I know that this course makes me a better person. I know that this course is going to mold my boys into the park rangers of their diabetes landscapes. This course will teach me patience. It will teach me to be humble and compassionate.
As much as I don't want to hike up the mountain of back to school...I will. Because as much as I hate to admit it...it will make me and my sons stronger.
The fiber of my boys character will be strengthened by these trials, I honestly believe this to be true.
My backpack is heavy with survival skills. My soul is heavy with determination.
So here I go.
And as I set off, I leave you all with this Irish Blessing...a blessing I hope you keep in your hearts as you begin your own trek up the mountain...
“May your joys be as bright as the morning, and your sorrows merely be shadows that fade in the sunlight of love. May you have enough happiness to keep you sweet, enough trials to keep you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to keep you happy."