Friday, October 8, 2010
Ummmm…I’ve got a bit of a problem.
I think my brain is turning on me.
I mean the swelly-ness of it is one thing…but now it is playing tricks on me…and this mama ain’t laughin’.
This past couple weeks I have found myself doing things I would NEVER do. N-E-V-E-R!
Specifically, I have been messing with my alarm, and waking up with no memory of said messing.
Long story short: It all begins with the fact that I have become a snoozer. A snooze-a-holic if you will. When my 1:30am alarm goes off…I snooze. It is a given.
It wasn’t always that way. In our old house the alarm clock was kept across the room, NOT on my side table. We did this purposely so we would HAVE to get up when the alarm went off. And since we were already up to turn off the alarm…we stayed up to check sugars.
But NOW I am taking it to the next level. In our new house the alarm is by our bed. So when it goes off, I snooze. Again and again I snooze. Apparently, I snooze so much that my brain goes nuts and (here comes the kicker) TURNS IT OFF! Lately, I have been waking up around 4:30 or 5:00 in a total panic.
Do I remember turning it off? NOPE.
Would I EVER EVER EVER turn it off if I was in my right mind? NOPE.
Brain rebellion…it isn’t pretty.
When I do wake up, and I see Lawton lying by my bed, I know there is a problem. If Lawton is there…the boys are low. He used to wake me, but who knows what my rebellious brain is doing these days. Do you think I’m rolling over? Do you think I’m ignoring him? What the heck!
It is happening a lot. So much so I’m going to have to move my alarm across the room again.
SIGH. Seriously…you should have heard the sigh I just let out.
I have officially turned into an alarm-turning-off fool! And don’t tell me it’s ok. I CANNOT miss a night of checks. My boys’ numbers are running on the lower end of normal…I LOVE it that way. I like keeping them in beautiful ranges while they sleep…that means half of the battle is won! They are cusping on perfect numbers, the kind of numbers that need to be watched closely. If they inch south even a tiny bit I need to intervene! Sure, keeping them this way is MY choice. I could dial basals back and let them run higher, but seriously, why mess with perfection??? I know…and you know…that these kinds of numbers do not last forever. I must hold onto them while I can. One growth spurt, one illness…one more jump onto the puberty steam train, and the fun ends.
So goodbye snooze button.
We have had some good times. I considered you a friend, really. But we can’t be BFF’s anymore. My boys are too important.
Adieu…sweet snooze button…Adieu.