You wouldn’t believe it…but things have been calm here on the western front. All my diabetics are pretty dialed in, and I’m in my snug/happy/comfortable place…the place I stay before the next storm comes in.
I think this all lends to my writers block. I’ve been seriously stuck.
Regardless of my stuckedness…I have been in my own little world lately, reflecting on diabetes and how it has taken over our lives. I’ve been so preoccupied with it, I even found it hard to listen to the dear man speaking at the pulpit yesterday at church. It’s just; I couldn’t take my eyes off J’s fingers. I would trace each fingertip, feeling the roughness of his calluses. Remembering back to the years of checks we had to do…sometimes many in a one hour period when he was very little. I could see which fingers he favored…his thumbs untouched by the lancet. I thought of him growing up and married. I thought of the things they will have to face as a couple with a Type 1 Diabetic as patriarch. The insurance problems…the worry his wife will endure during the lows…
And even with all of this, I couldn’t help but smile. It goes against my dreary diabetic outlook, but somewhere deep down, I feel like there will be a breakthrough in the future that will make his, and my other diabetics, lives easier. Maybe it’s the time of year…maybe I’m in denial…but I have hope.
No, not necessarily for a cure…but hope for help. Hope for a better way to handle their diabetes. A miracle of sorts. I mean just 8 years ago, insulin pumps were new to young children. Now it is the go to treatment at UCSF no matter what the age. Things change. And with diabetes…things will change for the better. Maybe it will be a Continuous Glucose Monitor that is accurate, and fingers will be able to heal. Maybe it will be a new magic insulin that knows how much to release, and we won’t need to count carbs. Maybe it will be an islet breakthrough. I don’t know. But something is coming… something wonderful.
At least that is what I keep telling myself.
I think that someday we will look back and wonder how we did it with such crude and barbaric tools. The genius of today will give out to the genius of tomorrow.
And when this happens…I won’t be bitter. I won’t be upset that I didn’t have these magic tools when they were young. I will be grateful, and I will see them as answers to our prayers. All our prayers have to be making a difference…right?
The wheels are turning. Progress is being made. Not as fast as we would like, but time isn’t standing still…and everyday something new is discovered.
Until then, I want to offer this…
Ladies, we are being watched over. When we feel alone, we are not. We have angels to help us…I really believe that. I also believe that our prayers are heard, and the good Lord is smiling at our impatience. He knows we will be ok. He knows our children will thrive no matter what the circumstances.
Help will come.
I just can’t help but hope.