tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52481013198298464912024-03-05T11:43:22.943-08:00Our Diabetic LifeMaking the most of life with 3 children with Type 1 Diabetes.Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.comBlogger673125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-48268227020479862652019-09-08T12:10:00.000-07:002019-09-08T12:10:37.721-07:00Teenager Edition: I want you to know something<div class="MsoNormal">
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I want you to know when your teen doesn’t bolus for a meal,
they really can “just forget." And they can “just forget” a lot. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I want you to know that hormones are satan's sugars. They
create havoc, and that isn’t anyone’s fault but nature itself. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I want you to know that rebellion is normal. Chances are you
rebelled as a teenager, and your teenagers will too. If your teen has never rebelled,
please play the lottery this weekend.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I want you to know that depression in teenagers with
diabetes is very common. So much so, it is almost expected.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But I want you to know that it is ok to fight for them.
Making our teens go to therapy will be SO VERY hard and maybe for a minute they will hate us for it… <o:p></o:p></div>
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But please know, it will be worth it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The fight for mental health will always be worth it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I want you to know that there are reasons they don’t bolus
for lunch at school, or answer your texts to correct, or go to the nurse when
expected. It’s not something they want to talk about, but their reasons are
legitimate. Speak with your Endocrinologist; there is a plan B. </div>
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Also, asking for help, as a teenager, is difficult to say the least.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I want you know that sugars do affect attitude, but at the
same time, it isn’t ok to be an asshole. Ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Dear parents, it’s ok to give out consequences even when blood sugars
are not cooperating. But be kind. Even adults are grumpy when they don’t feel
good.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I want you to know teens are often opportunist and if you
leave a crack in the window, they’ll squeeze through it like a rat looking for
Christmas dinner. They will reuse sets, they will give you false numbers, they
will sneak food in their room, they will pretend diabetes away if it gives them
just a moment of normalcy…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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And they will do so much more than that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">But they aren’t doing it to you. They are just doing it in
front of you.</span></b><o:p></o:p></div>
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And I believe that’s the key to surviving the teenager
years…<o:p></o:p></div>
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Not to take it personally.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Their Diabetes isn’t about us, even though our lives are all
about them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I want you know the numbers, the forgetting, the rebelling,
the attitude…it’s all coping mechanism to get through what isn’t only a trying
decade, but a trying lot in life.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Being a teenager is HARD. Being a teenager with Diabetes is
unfair. Period. They feel things harder than we do. The anger, the sadness, and the
shame…it’s all more intense. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So intense
it can become unbearable and the only thing to release the feelings is
unconditional love from someone they are close with.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Let that unconditional love come from us.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And lets not withhold it because of a number on a screen.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Let our hugs lighten their load…and if we feel like we are
hugging a porcupine? We must toughen up…<o:p></o:p></div>
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For a little while anyway.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Because the teen years don’t last forever.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Puberty ends.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Life and diabetes settle a bit. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Diabetes will always be a pain. It will never be perfect.
But it won’t always be complete and utter chaos like the teenage years regrettably
are.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Growing hurts.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Learning comes from making mistakes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Our teenagers are learning so much.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And so are we.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We have to come to terms with the fact that we don’t have
all the answers. No one does. So let’s just do our best. Love our best. Try our
best.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And as with everything else in life, the rest will work
itself out in the wash.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p> </o:p> </div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-61450188262947520192019-03-18T10:46:00.001-07:002019-03-18T11:40:02.203-07:00Coexisting with dark places.<div class="MsoNormal">
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Life changing things happen in ordinary moments. There is no
dramatic music or stylistic pan in with the camera. No voice over to prepare
you, or lighting changes to soothe the moment. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It happens in an instant and we wonder, is this real? Real
life doesn’t just happen like this. This happens on big screens, with ebb,
flows, story line climaxes, and happy endings. <o:p></o:p></div>
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“Did I just hear that right?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“This isn’t real.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s those moments you take stock in your courage and know
for a fact you aren’t built to take this kind of punch. You know it’s too much.
You wonder how you’re still alive, how your heart goes on when ripped in half…<o:p></o:p></div>
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And the future you had so carefully mapped out disintegrates
into a mist of unknowns. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Nothing is for sure: Those moments teach us that lesson with
little consideration for our sanity.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ve lived too many of those moments.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I know too much.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So when a quiet moment comes, when things can swing either
way, it’s hard for me to have hope.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Because I know:<o:p></o:p></div>
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Bad things happen amidst all the ordinary.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Life changing moments don’t count how many you’ve had
before. They come when they come because as joyous as life can be…it is equally
hard.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The two exist: The light and the dark. And where you’ll be
tomorrow is a mystery. There are no weather forecasts to help you know what to
expect. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So how do I live without hiding under my bed, I wonder? What
is it that makes me wake up in the morning smiling, expecting a happy normal instead of a devastating one?<o:p></o:p></div>
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When I’ve experienced so many of those moments, how do I
find that feeling of hope that is essential to my existence?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Is it in the acceptance of life’s dramatic change of tide?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Is it a survival technique? A protection by pretending I
don’t know…<o:p></o:p></div>
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Is it believing in a God that tells me I wasn’t sent to this
Earth to be miserable?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Is it faith in a plan, that although twisted and sometimes
shocking, is designed just for my growth?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Maybe all those things, though my gut tells me there's more.<br />
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Like, there is a point to all of this. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I don’t want to say it all happens for a reason. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Were my boys diagnosed with a lifetime disease for a reason?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Did Ryan pass away for a reason?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Has moving to Indiana been so hard for a reason? <o:p></o:p></div>
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I can’t say I believe those things.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I do believe I’m supposed to learn from those dark moments...but I don’t believe that translates into bracing myself when I wake up every morning. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I think learning to focus on the light is paramount to my
survival.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anger breeds more anger. Resentment breeds more resentment.
Despair breeds more despair. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And happiness breeds more happiness.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And the truth is, when I look for miracles, I find them. Not
only in my past, but daily.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Being mindful of the miracles, I think, is what keeps my motor
running. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Life is one ordinary moment after another…good ones and bad
ones…<o:p></o:p></div>
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The extraordinary doesn’t come from outside forces.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It comes from us and where we put our focus. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Because light and dark don’t exist separately. Somehow they
coexist.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s up to us to weave through the shadows to find the
sometimes thin stream of light coming in from a crack in the window.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I really believe we can best survive when we embrace the
light. Finding the miracles, loving those around us and seeing the good when
it’s all tangled with the bad.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I need to work more on accepting those dark places as a
neighborhoods bordering the light ones. Maybe even seeing the dark places as maps to
the light? <o:p></o:p></div>
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I need to work to find joy in the journey, not the
destination. The journey that weaves through good and bad in the ordinary day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Hope, here I come again. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But also acceptance, and love.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I know we’re all equipped to
handle those things. And I know, somewhere deep inside me, that isn’t an accident.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="https://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-23767718505467866242018-11-05T15:50:00.002-08:002018-11-05T15:52:04.623-08:00What I don't know, hurts them.<div class="MsoNormal">
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I think we can agree that Diabetes is complex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Part of that stems from the fact that every person with Diabetes is unique. There are no
“cookie-cutter” people with Diabetes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This has become painfully clear to me as I raise three boys
with Type 1 Diabetes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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They are brothers, but they all have their own bodies.<o:p></o:p></div>
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…Their own feelings.<o:p></o:p></div>
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…Their own chemistry.<o:p></o:p></div>
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…Their own ways to take care of their Diabetes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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One size does not fit all, and it’s fallacy of me to think otherwise.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Uniqueness doesn’t only lie in our society's point of view, but also
in our genetic make-up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, some of us
can be the similar, but none of us are the same.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Hence, different strokes for different folks.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Especially in the Parent community, we all have different
ways of raising our children with Diabetes. We all, individually, do our very best…and we
can’t do better than that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But this last week I’ve found my life in a series of
paradoxes that I’ve had a hard time wrapping this swelly mom brain around.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So here I am, in my safe place, trying to make sense of my
feelings.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ve put two of my boys back on Dexcom Continuous Glucose
Monitors. Their numbers are magically sent to my phone, pretty seamlessly, all
day and all night.<o:p></o:p></div>
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To put it lightly…I know too much.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Regardless, these numbers are addicting. When the beginning
of the year found me sleeping soundly through the night for months with no
worries whatsoever, I now have multiple panic attacks daily.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Now that I KNOW what is going on….holy shiz, Batman…my
children’s lives are in danger 24/7.<o:p></o:p></div>
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While I was at work last week, my High schoolers took the PSATs. They
were both put in pretty rigid testing conditions for the first 5 hours of the
day. I was alerted on my phone that my Freshman had a 60 blood sugar with an
arrow down. He is a rule follower, so I was sure his phone was in his backpack
and he was oblivious to the impending bad low. I called the nurse and asked her
to find him and bring him a snack. She happily did so. But for the next hour,
his sugars kept dropping until he was in the low 50’s. I was at work. I was
beside myself with worry. My hands shook. The anxiety was powerful. My other
son was giving me no numbers since school started. I knew he would turn off his
phone because any Dexcom alarm during the test would have been the worst kind
of happenstance. We've been fixing basals and he's had quite a few almost lows that week.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So there I was, jarred. Alarmed. Genuinely scared…when I
thought. “What is going on with you, Meri? A few months ago you were completely
oblivious to what was going on and you had no worries."<o:p></o:p></div>
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Seriously. Their blood sugars were not high on my worry list.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Last week, the boys were doing the same thing they were doing months
ago. Nothing changed...except…<o:p></o:p></div>
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What I knew.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The numbers.<o:p></o:p></div>
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All. Of. The. Numbers.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It happens every time I put the boys on Dexcoms. All the mom
alarm bells go off, and I want to micromanage every flow of numbers flashing on
my phone.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Yet…when the numbers aren't there…they find a way to
live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are ok.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I know that having my eye on things makes things better for
them, but it turns me into someone else, and that someone else doesn’t flatter
me. It’s not like I rattle easily…but those numbers. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Those arrows. <o:p></o:p></div>
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THEY rattle me.<o:p></o:p><br />
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You know the saying, "What you don't know won't hurt you?"<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Well, what I don't know hurts my children. </span></b></div>
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I don’t like knowing what I do. I don’t like knowing how the
numbers flow, and just how close we are to possible emergent situations every
day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I don’t like harping on my boys. Text after text..<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Insulin?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“More insulin?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Maybe insulin?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Food please. ;)”<o:p></o:p><br />
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“Carb up!”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Your dropping fast. Eat, pretty please!"<3 o:p=""></3></div>
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I heart and smiley face my brains out to make my texts seem
something less than demanding. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Maybe they’ll hate me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But what is my alternative?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ignorance. It sure is bliss, people.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The way I can go from one extreme to the other bothers me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
No worries to constant worries.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I feel like my insides are the Tasmanian Devil. One second I’m
still and calm, the next I’m flailing around in a fit of turmoil and despair.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="361" src="https://giphy.com/embed/1013kKVeHIP4FW" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/animation-90s-tv-series-1013kKVeHIP4FW">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I suppose I’ll have to live with both for awhile longer.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I let go a bit and my worries fade as my ignorance grows.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then I see that the boys need me to jump in again and, of
course, I do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve got them. Always.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man, teenager years are super hard. The ebbs and flows of emotions
are taxing on a mother…both theirs and mine.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I see their amazingness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They deny it exists.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So until we get a little closer in our thoughts, I’ll Taz my
heart out, and let my husband rock me to sleep.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t unsee what I’ve seen.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dexcom, you are everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And I love/hate you so so much.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="https://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-26909977328645157282018-09-03T09:56:00.002-07:002018-09-03T09:59:28.380-07:00Another year.<div class="MsoNormal">
I watched September 2<sup>nd</sup> crawl nearer to me on the
calendar every day last week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a
relief each day to know it wasn’t here yet, and then yesterday morning, it came.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And because I’m a complicated, emotional being…my feelings
were complicated. I sat in a plateau of my emotions, trying hard not to go to
one extreme or the other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Staying in a
safe place while I figured out a way through the day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then I went to church and found out that what I thought
was complicated, wasn’t complicated at all.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am blessed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My prayers have been heard.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gratitude for my life, my family, and my friends is
currently overflowing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ryan is gone, but…Ryan is absolutely not gone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He lives, and he has made sure his family is taken care of
in every way.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Miracles exist. And even though they aren’t the miracles we once
would have hoped for, they are miracles nonetheless.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is a miracle that I’m in Indiana.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is a miracle that I’m married to Doug.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is a miracle that our families are not like oil and
water. We are simply one. It’s a new concoction, but no less miraculous.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been through moments in the past few years where I
wasn’t sure I was strong enough to handle my new life, and so much change. I
questioned my abilities over and over again, and had moments where I wished I
could dissolve into the wind.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But when I wished such things, I would be encircled by love
and encouragement.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is no other man on this earth that could have walked
by my side the past few years while I ventured to figure out my place in this
world. There is no other man with the patience, and heart to guide me and lift
me up over and over again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My husband Doug was chosen for me, and I promise to never
take that for granted.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s surreal that it’s been six years since we lost Ryan.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is so separate from my life now. Like that was Book One.
And now I’m on Book Two. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Though I treasure that Book One.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It is a part of me. </span>Every chapter built me into who I am, and I’m immensely thankful for the memories of a man that is woven into every page.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But now, new pages.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And even more exciting, future chapters.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A future I would have never imagined for myself, but was lovingly gifted to me regardless.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All those moments I was ready to give up, I can look back on
now...and breathe in the gratefulness of new days...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And marvel at the strength it has given me, and my marriage. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It's September 3rd. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another year has passed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That in itself proves another miracle.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-38925220036481787942018-08-06T10:45:00.003-07:002018-08-06T10:51:13.104-07:0020 years.<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
20 years ago, I was 25 years old and my son J was 9 months old.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
20 years ago, The Yankees won the World Series, the Bulls
won the NBA Championship, and the Denver Broncos won the Super Bowl.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
20 years ago, Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky were
front-page news.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
20 years ago, the sitcom Seinfeld played its final episode.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
20 years ago, popular movies were Mulan, Rush Hour, and The
Truman Show.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
20 years ago, the price of a gallon of gas was $1.06<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
20 years ago, one unit of insulin cost 4 cents. Now it costs
over 25 cents a unit. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That same 20 years ago…my baby was diagnosed with Type 1
Diabetes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
-We almost lost him to DKA.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
-We were told a cure would come in
5 years.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
-Our lives were set on a new
trajectory.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s been almost half
my lifetime. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For J? His entire lifetime.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
20 years of jabbing, stabbing, worrying, counting,
doctoring, checking, changing, and fixing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
20 years of hugging, trying, fighting, loving, shrugging, hoping,
and pushing through.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At 20 years old, J is now an adult. He has a beard. He wears
an insulin pump in his pocket and a CGM on his arm.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
20 years ago I did everything for him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today, he does everything for himself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The past 20 years has brought enormous change. I never would
have imagined what was in store for our little family. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yet, we keep moving forward. Time does not allow for sitting still. This 20 year anniversary is a testament to that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
20 years ago, on J’s first birthday, I sobbed. Thankful that
he had made it his first few months with Diabetes alive.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today my thankfulness for his life can’t be summed
up with words and tears. His life is precious. The gratitude I have rushes through me like a mighty river.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
J is one of my greatest blessings. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He could barely crawl 20 years ago. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Today, he flies.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Here’s to the first 20 years. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My son has survived.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Now, my sweet J, it’s time to thrive.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In honor of J’s diagnosis at 9 months old, my friend Mike
Lawson will give one of his new picture books to a family who has a child with
Diabetes. I wish my children had something like this in their hands when they
were diagnosed. To know they weren’t alone, to know that others “check” and “click”
too. Please leave a comment below to enter the drawing for Mike's book. It also can be ordered <a href="https://diabetesdoodles.com/" target="_blank">HERE.</a> You can enter for yourself, or nominate another family with a small child with Diabetes. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-80132206867782688222018-05-30T11:45:00.000-07:002018-05-30T11:51:31.211-07:00A step by step guide to perfection. <br />
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
How to be the perfect parent to a child with Type 1
Diabetes:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Never sleep:</b> Diabetes never sleeps and neither should you.
Food, growth, exercise, weather, illness, and "The Voice" results can all affect blood sugars. Sleep
is for the weak. Alarms are not guaranteed to wake you. Just stay awake.
Forever.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Never be tired:</b> I know I told you never to sleep, but you
must always be alert. I don’t care how tired you are. Staying in your pajamas
late almost guarantees a call from the school to come in. And when the kids are home, every second
counts. You have to be at the top of your game at all times. Your child’s life depends on it no matter how many minutes you slept.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Always remember:</b> Forget about forgetting. Remember the long acting shots, remember what bottle you drew from,
remember to remind them to bolus at least 10 minutes before they eat, and
remember the exact amounts they ate last time so you can guess without
guessing. Remember what Kung Fu class does to their blood sugar, and remember
to dual wave bolus for pizza. And remember the exact date of every month to
reorder supplies. Don’t forget all the prescriptions will be rejected, so time
reorders perfectly.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Be an expert:</b> Know the exact carb count of any food within
seconds of a quick glance, (because that food is going to disappear in
seconds.) Make sure you are a mathematician. There is no room for calculation
mishaps anytime of the day, including three in the morning. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Be a psychologist:</b> Always know what your child is thinking
and feeling. Depression goes hand and hand with this disease. It helps to have
a sign that says, <i>“Not my child! Not on my vigilant watch!”</i> Make sure they are
always treated fairly whilst at the same time teaching them life isn’t fair. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Keep charts:</b> Graph. Graph. Graph. Everything. Trends need to
be at the tip of your fingertips at all times. And keep graphs of that woman’s
child on Facebook. Comparing is the only way to validate perfectness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Keep numbers IN RANGE:</b> If it’s not in range, you have
failed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Make sure your child stays cute forever:</b> You’re going to
need to raise money for this disease forever. The cuter your child is in those
JDRF pictures, the more money you’ll make. Keep them little forever. Take your
child to the doctor and see how to put off puberty. Puberty brings acne,
awkwardness, and smells. Not acceptable for a campaign counting on the AWWW
factor.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Give your advice to everyone who will listen:</b> Since you are
perfect, tell everyone. Let them know how they can be perfect too…by being
exactly like you, of course! It only stands to reason that everyone in the
world absorbs food exactly like your child. Deviating from your plan is
unacceptable.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Have unlimited resources: </b>Type 1 Diabetes is expensive. You
need unlimited money to pay for medications, doctor appointments, therapy, and exotic
trips to prove Diabetes has nothing on your child. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Never question yourself:</b> Always be right.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
----------------------------------------------------------------------------</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now that we’ve gotten through all that, please read the
above again and <span style="font-size: x-large;">FORGET IT.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everything up there isn’t real. It’s all fantasy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are a human being. You are not a Marvel superhero. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s ok to try your hardest, but don’t use the above list as
your measuring stick. And please don't compare yourself to people you know nothing about. Their life isn't your life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are way too hard on yourself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your best is enough. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do you love your child? Do you try your best?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Awesome!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are perfect.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment--><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-51958906258978356142018-05-21T06:51:00.000-07:002018-05-21T06:53:20.944-07:00Find a ride.<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTJaKZku8G6LNxVCyiRUn_sYVdtgzHMgerJNM3QLKT0XcUuQg7fOhzpllknKpJPIMWvdrREvNN0ooqAAKB7oUQ8fmlrY-Qav8igVNyTBSetw6gCC8TeTtKpMn5DQi9Dll-dJVF3KBU2mA/s1600/magiccarpet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTJaKZku8G6LNxVCyiRUn_sYVdtgzHMgerJNM3QLKT0XcUuQg7fOhzpllknKpJPIMWvdrREvNN0ooqAAKB7oUQ8fmlrY-Qav8igVNyTBSetw6gCC8TeTtKpMn5DQi9Dll-dJVF3KBU2mA/s400/magiccarpet.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I have a magic carpet.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It isn’t something I keep in my closet, or store in the
garage.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In fact, I don’t even own it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But it shows up sometimes. And when it does, it is mine.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sit upon its comfortable piles and breathe in the sun that
always seems to come along with it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It whooshes me away from myself, and takes me to a safer
place, one that relaxes my senses, and soothes the aches.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It takes me away from worry, stress, and discomfort.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It takes me to smiles, laughter, and peace.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wish I could have it in my hands at all times. Or perhaps have access to it a couple hours each and every day...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I suppose it may be possible, because I know:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It comes when I’m ready.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It comes when I try.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I’m wrapped up in self-pity and exasperation my carpet
is nowhere to be found, but when I look outside my person…and help others in
need…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It appears.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is mine.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I ride it as long as it will allow.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll often walk through life looking down at my feet,
concentrating on my journey, and my story. I’ll analyze every pebble in front of me,
and take offense when I bump into things, because shouldn’t others be looking
out for me?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the days I look up from my feet and really see the people
around me…when I see their circumstance, and their hearts, and when I long to ease their trials…those are the days that my
carpet appears. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those are the days I’m allowed happiness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life isn’t about me; it’s about those I lift up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those in the trenches need us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I used to be in the trenches. It’s a cold, scary, dark
place. But when I needed it most, I was wrapped up in love and care and helped
up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was carried by others who had been in the trenches
before too. People who sacrificed their energy and time to take care of me, and
lighten my load.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Paying it forward is the greatest gift. It is my magic
carpet ride, and I’m addicted to the fresh air it provides.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you’re having a hard time, look up. Ask for help, or look further down and help another who is deeper in the trenches than you. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
And when you reach out your hand?</div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I promise, it will be the ride of your life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<br />
~MERIMerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-45176638475911195672018-05-10T06:30:00.000-07:002018-05-10T06:30:30.885-07:00An Homage to the Mothers<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; text-align: center;">We are called D Moms. D Mamas. Even Type 3's.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; text-align: center;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; text-align: center;">Sometimes we get a bad rap.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">~We're too "intense."</span></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; text-align: center;" />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">~We worry too much.</span></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; text-align: center;" />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">~We are overbearing.</span></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; text-align: center;" />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">~We over think.</span></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; text-align: center;" />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">~We over react.</span></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; text-align: center;" />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">~We over manage.</span></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; text-align: center;" />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And I only have one thing to say about all of that...</span></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; text-align: center;" />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">You are probably right.</span></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; text-align: center;" />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I want to tell you that if you are a parent, you can understand.</span></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; text-align: center;" />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">But that is not true.</span></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; text-align: center;" />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 18px; line-height: 29px; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I want to tell you that if you have diabetes yourself, you can understand.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">But that is not true either...just as I will never fully understand your diabetic life,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">you will never fully understand mine.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The only way you would understand what goes on in the swelly brain of a D Mama,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">is if you were a D Mama yourself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We are special. Chosen for our story, as you were chosen for yours.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We are fighters, and we will fight until our last breath to keep our children safe.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">New technologies like fast acting insulin and insulin pumps provide keys for better management, but they also provide a clear and present danger at all times.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We have to be vigilant.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We look into the eyes of our children and we love them with a bright tenderness. We want more than anything for them to live a life free from restrictions, free from prejudice, free from complications, free from emergency rooms and hospitals.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We feel a responsibility well beyond any bounds of normalcy. We do not want to live a life of regrets. One day we will need to look into the eyes of our adult Type 1 Children and we want more than anything to say...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">"I did my best."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The mothers of Type 1's spend every day racked with guilt. Every blood sugar number pierces our heart. We feel responsible for every high and every low.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">An argument can be made that diabetes is responsible for every one of those numbers, but in our eyes...whether a reasonable notion or not, we feel they are a reflection of our efforts.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We may not always admit it to you, or to ourselves...but we take those numbers personally.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The A1C isn't called the mommy report card for nothing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We do not sleep. That is a choice. We choose to keep a close eye on the numbers while the world takes a break. We don't take breaks. We know that waking up with a off number can domino to the rest of the day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We know honeymooning pancreases can sputter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We know the soccer game from 5 hours earlier can affect the nighttime numbers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">(Yet we urge them to play.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We know that Pizza can wreak havoc hours after consumption, and w</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">e know that Chinese food for dinner means a sleepless night for us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">(Yet we delight in serving them their favorites anyway.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We know that diabetes never sleeps. That is why we don't either.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We know that a 200 can turn into a 52 in 30 minutes flat.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We know that on field trip days our children may spike with excitement, or bottom out from activity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We know nothing is for sure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">So we check, and constantly ask our children how they are feeling...and we hover...watching every move...looking for changes in our children's faces...changes in their gait...tiny beads of sweat on the back of their necks...we know the signs of lows. We know our children better than anyone else.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We love hard.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We try hard.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We cry hard.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We hug hard.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We hope hard.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We stress hard.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We are hard on ourselves.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We are D mamas. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Don't judge us because we fret over the details. To us...Our Diabetic Life is all about the details.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We are 100% responsible for the well being of children we love more than anything on this blessed green earth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">No, we will not back off.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">No, we will not calm down.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">No, we will not stop making noise.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">As mothers, we know that our children are special. Diabetes makes them stronger. It makes them resilient, responsible, amazing. It gives them a sense of humor. It makes them grow up too fast, and let's them spread their wings too slow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We wish we could take away the pain. </span></div>
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We wish it were us.</div>
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We are warriors.</div>
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We are D Moms.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Hear. Us. Roar.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri;">Happy Mothers Day, D Moms. I see you. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: calibri;">Meri</span></div>
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<br />Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-49473879243755520612018-04-18T06:39:00.000-07:002018-04-18T13:26:34.054-07:00Insulin is #6.<div class="MsoNormal">
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I ran across a fascinating bit of data yesterday watching an
enlightening, and validating, lecture posted by a friend deep in the comments on another friends post on Facebook. (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgjl6SqGDaE" target="_blank">Link HERE</a>)<o:p></o:p></div>
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I took a screenshot of one of the slides in the lecture, and
Googled the information to confirm validity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTEopyYfmVVuxdBcD6Q63aCgpVF5NolVshBh8YfhvKLboXnH_Yq9gqqfamAdIoHmX6acAzd1f0IHvpg1_v2tY3QnIjiFU3QAmDdPALCFa_7DD7h67aFvs3tAoconZcyAyFHG8qUGRwpg4/s1600/insulin1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTEopyYfmVVuxdBcD6Q63aCgpVF5NolVshBh8YfhvKLboXnH_Yq9gqqfamAdIoHmX6acAzd1f0IHvpg1_v2tY3QnIjiFU3QAmDdPALCFa_7DD7h67aFvs3tAoconZcyAyFHG8qUGRwpg4/s400/insulin1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Oh yes. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgogFR_4WhJMurdSvqWn_l54tDw7z8mr_1dvHXyRkVzmRKtAnJjwmjsxpGxMaPRYh5OYtJUrKxMKoQeGdgMBGLQy3GLSCAORyrapq80PLtFhLshBuaRBcpvD6EndRu5vjUgcds7m_SMfKQ/s1600/insulin2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="885" data-original-width="1600" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgogFR_4WhJMurdSvqWn_l54tDw7z8mr_1dvHXyRkVzmRKtAnJjwmjsxpGxMaPRYh5OYtJUrKxMKoQeGdgMBGLQy3GLSCAORyrapq80PLtFhLshBuaRBcpvD6EndRu5vjUgcds7m_SMfKQ/s400/insulin2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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It’s real.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVhGOatYm2JJ-tRbDGtz7O_m0Mbg4CnVl7fcCMg99uPVMBK7t7nmKwjWF_Xi67iwSurvNDNVHK_C8yy-jB1T-rNVTyZwUGeOmqJOb0Nnyc_sUgWq7QDObcxk4xJvoKUFAC7KXSuJQuLiM/s1600/insulin3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1162" data-original-width="1600" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVhGOatYm2JJ-tRbDGtz7O_m0Mbg4CnVl7fcCMg99uPVMBK7t7nmKwjWF_Xi67iwSurvNDNVHK_C8yy-jB1T-rNVTyZwUGeOmqJOb0Nnyc_sUgWq7QDObcxk4xJvoKUFAC7KXSuJQuLiM/s400/insulin3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Heaven help us. It’s super for real.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been running the numbers in my head for the past
twenty-four hours, and there is no math on this green Earth that makes these
numbers ok.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know that Insulin is complicated to make, but it seems as
though the demand is surging the prices, rather than the complexity of it
all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because let’s face it, the demand
for insulin is only increasing…and that demand is not driven by superfluous wants, but rather by need.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Need to live.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My children need a constant stream of this liquid gold
flowing into their body all day every day simply to stay alive.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why would the price go down? No one is going to stop using
it because of price. No one that uses it has a choice.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So friends ask me, what is the answer? What can we do?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wish I were a brilliant mind. My swelly brain can scarcely
process the information my boys are constantly throwing at me, much less answers on how to fix the US Healthcare System.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But here is what I do know:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>* I am angry.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>* This is not right.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>* I’m worried about my boys’ futures. </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My boys are entering
adulthood faster than I care to admit. Will they be able to afford one of the
most expensive liquids on Earth to stay alive?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know that I can’t sit here and think, "It'll all work itself out."<br />
<br />
I need to say
something. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We all need to say something.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will march around banging my pots together as long as I
have to, so I can get more people banging their pots along with me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am tired of hearing about Stormy Daniels. (Oh my gosh! I
didn’t even need to Google her name. I’m sick about it.) I am tired of hearing
about Russian probes. I am tired of hearing about how much our President plays
golf. I’m sick and tired of tabloid news and tabloid government.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
WE NEED REAL CHANGE, and help, and hope…and our government
is a complete joke. Every Politician is in the back pocket of one special
interest or another, and this is not left or right. Is our government really so corrupt that we can’t look at
the fact that people are dying because they can’t afford their medication?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve always believed that our voices together could excite
change, but our Government and news affiliates are living as a bunch of spoiled
teenagers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is no bigger picture, just petty jabs.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Healthcare System in the United States is not an easy
mess to clean up, so it’s ignored. It's easier to call someone fat, or find something to ruin a reputation than to solve real problems.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If one can’t do hard things, one shouldn’t run for office.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><sup><span style="font-size: small;">6</span>th</sup> most expensive liquid in the world… </i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>On the list with LSD and Scorpion Venom…</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But in Canada it’s $30 a vial?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll just leave you with one more screenshot from the lecture and let the silence that follows speak for itself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid9oJ9azKlOZaaAiEqqt63vVwQyq8RUTIB1QDyc-7_eCk69kW1bINUlNt7_PBXJc3_R3Sq-xzTXW-T2_SmTd0kJZouJAIR2BYTrIbocpigshNO_q9mM8k6DVWmq60wXim7S52SGYG2x14/s1600/insulin5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid9oJ9azKlOZaaAiEqqt63vVwQyq8RUTIB1QDyc-7_eCk69kW1bINUlNt7_PBXJc3_R3Sq-xzTXW-T2_SmTd0kJZouJAIR2BYTrIbocpigshNO_q9mM8k6DVWmq60wXim7S52SGYG2x14/s400/insulin5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-20817161120430640232018-03-06T15:49:00.000-08:002018-03-06T15:49:04.143-08:00Teenager Black Magic <div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My children, who were once made of perfect innocence, have
turned into wizards.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With a roll of their eyes I am banished into no man’s land.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My words are gobbled up by their minds and spit out into
indiscernible sentences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They can make anything
I say mean whatever they want by taking poetic license with all that enters
their ears.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The dark magic is carelessly used without regard for consequence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> C</span>onsequence that are convoluted, and not
even a little bit obvious to them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My self-esteem being one of those consequences. And what teen
cares of their parent’s merits? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My trips around the sun are not their trips around the sun;
therefore, I am clueless to their suffering. Anything they endure I will not
understand without pretending to understand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My wrinkles put me outside the realm of empathy. My quest to find peace
in life bristles their wings.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Teenagers minds are the opposite of peace. They are chaos. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Though not by choice. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One cannot always see at first glance, but the chaos lives
behind their eyes, where they try to make sense of a world that is teaching
them one thing and showing them another.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do the right thing…. but, right is wrong.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Be kind…. but, kindness is self-serving.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Find your happy place…. but, happiness is fake.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Trust in God…. but, God is for the befuddled.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are loved…. but, love must be earned.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The last is most troubling. My children don't always see
themselves worthy of love.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But my love for them exists beyond worthy measurements.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love is not conditional when one is a parent. Love is there hell or high
water. Love is brighter during the hard times. Love swirls within us no matter
what the circumstance.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
If only they could know.<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or maybe they already know but apathy and despair each have
a hand over their eyes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s hard to see all the good when one exists in darkness.
Light doesn’t stand a chance when walls are in the way.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wall after wall is erected. I stand on the other
side…sometimes knocking, sometimes chipping away the drywall with my fists,
sometimes using the wall to slide down to the ground…to pray. Or to wallow in
my self pity. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And when they feel alone I call to them:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Take down the wall! I’m right here! You are never alone!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They are disappointed in themselves and assume I must be
too.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yet, I am opposite of disappointed. I am proud when I see
them peek above the walls…even for a second. My heart bursts with excitement
and love…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They disappear as fast as they appear.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Children that were once full of light and laughter are now
looking for meaning, yet they don’t have the wherewithal to actually look.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have found that meaning. I would serve it to them on a
golden platter if I could.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would pour it down their throats if it would help.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But meaning isn’t something that can be given. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is something that must be found.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love and meaning can heal. But only if one wants healing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes my teenagers suffer and my love doesn't seem to fix it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But maybe, it’s helping. Deep down, somewhere, somehow,
maybe my love is helping. And for as long as there is a maybe chance…I will actively love. And do what I can to encourage them to continue putting one foot in front
of the other. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One step.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another step.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And another.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until one day…maybe they will look up from their feet, and
see the unconditional love and blessings that surround them and they'll become the light they didn't know they needed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Until one day…the dark days, the teenager days, are gone.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-86854041062704356622018-02-13T13:56:00.001-08:002018-02-13T14:03:04.050-08:00Our feelings about the Abbott Freestyle Libre System<div class="MsoNormal">
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2 of my 3 boys with Type 1 Diabetes are Dexcom users.<o:p></o:p></div>
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One boy uses it because he likes the security of knowing his numbers all the time. He will glance at his phone, confirm how he feels, and move on.<o:p></o:p></div>
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One boy uses it because I still have some tiny amount of say in his life. He hates the alarms and he turns them off while at school. (I told you the amount of my influance is tiny. It’s pretty much microscopic.) With his social anxiety, having an alarm that might turn heads his way is devastating. But the silver lining lies in the fact that I get his numbers on my phone too, so I will text him when he needs a correction or food. The vibration of his phone alerts him of my text, and things get taken care of.<o:p></o:p></div>
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One boy refuses to wear the Dexcom. He is 20. I can’t force him to wear it anymore. He hates the alarms. He hates the profile. He hates having me see everything. I get it. I’m not happy about it. But I get it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We’re the Goldilocks and the Three Bears of Dexcom users.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So when friends on Facebook started trialing Abbott’s Freestyle Libre, the wheels in my brain began turning at full speed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://www.freestylelibre.us/cgm-experience" target="_blank">And when I saw that we could get a free reader and one free sensor if we were Dexcom users, sparks were flying.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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I got our Endo to send in a script to CVS, and brought our coupons over once the Libre arrived. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I watched a quick YouTube video and immediately put it on J.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said it hurt a little, but was so pleasantly surprised with the low profile of the Libre, he smiled wide.<o:p></o:p></div>
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BACKGROUND ON J: Diagnosed at 8months old, J is a sevant of sorts. He has an exceptional ability to feel his blood sugars. It’s every D-Mom’s dream. The problem with this is he has an unhealthy confidence about his numbers and tests his blood sugars far less than I, or his Endo, would like. I’ve witnessed him eat without testing first, because he “feels like he’s going low.” I’ve witnessed him bolus without checking his sugar because he “feels a little too high.” When witnessing these events I’ve tested his blood sugar myself…and he has always been right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s all so wonderful and frustrating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wonderful because it’s a dream ability to have and I'm thankful he listens so closely to his body. Frustrating because I know he only has to be wrong one time for catastrophic consequences.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Enter Abbott Freestyle Libre:<br />
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He seriously loves it. And that isn’t just commentary. Last night he stopped me and word for word said, “Mom, I seriously love this thing.”<o:p></o:p><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0FwROtVB0hc_luGWC_5BYTAFKShnNMP2LX97BiwpVjemOWKs8DhS2FIvWjKFBQAusBAPC5Mqfdhqfdg8REMdoN6h6H3ZmK3BdSdMpBscQ_tP2rmVz9V3z2s3NzLikMmcM5oAUVDOcn_g/s1600/Jacklibre1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1182" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0FwROtVB0hc_luGWC_5BYTAFKShnNMP2LX97BiwpVjemOWKs8DhS2FIvWjKFBQAusBAPC5Mqfdhqfdg8REMdoN6h6H3ZmK3BdSdMpBscQ_tP2rmVz9V3z2s3NzLikMmcM5oAUVDOcn_g/s320/Jacklibre1.jpg" width="236" /></a></div>
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He scans his blood sugar ALL THE TIME.<o:p></o:p></div>
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He comes home from a full shift at work and I ask if he checked today. <o:p></o:p></div>
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“4 or 5 times.”<br />
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I see him scan himself all the time at home. I see him scan himself before eating, before driving, before sleeping…and he’s asked me to scan him a couple times while he was lounging on the couch. It’s truly a miracle. To add to the awesomeness, the scans have arrows and graphs. It works much like a CGM, showing if his blood sugar is rising, dropping, or steady.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s been so life changing for J, I decided to let B try it for a month. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Upon insertion he said, “I felt nothing.” Win.<o:p></o:p></div>
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An hour later, “I forgot I had it on.” Win.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Though when time for school he said he wouldn’t use it during class because it makes a loud BEEP noise when you scan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I just found out you can mute the noise.<br />
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Would I rather have them on Dexcoms? Of course. But this is a fantastic compromise for all of us. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Some other pluses:<br />
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*Super easy insertion. And mostly painless.</div>
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*Nighttime checks without pricking fingers? Yes, please! I think about when J was a baby and how nice it would have been to not wake him at night to check…and to know what direction his sugars were headed. Man, I feel like it was the dark ages back then!<o:p></o:p><br />
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*The sensor never needs to be calibrated, although, upon insertion, it does make you wait 12 hours to begin getting numbers. We put it on before bed and he’s ready to go in the morning.<o:p></o:p><br />
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*The numbers seem to be quite accurate. Maybe 5 points off at times, but hot dang, it's good.<br />
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*The sensor lasts 10 days, and it doesn’t fall off. That thing STICKS. (Little ones might need to use baby oil when removing.)<o:p></o:p><br />
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*It’s way cheaper than Dexcom. The reader is one time $60-$75 dollars, and the sensors are around $50-$60 dollars for a month’s supply if you use the <a href="https://www.singlecare.com/" target="_blank">Singlecare Pharmacy Savings Card.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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Suffice it to say, we are pleasantly surprised how well this is going. I’m thankful for the tools we have to keep my boys safe, and thankful to finally have something reasonable priced. Believe it or not, Abbott didn't ask me to write this, or even ask me to trial this. Even though this might seem like an advertisement for the Libre, our systems were acquired by me and used by my very opinionated boys.<br />
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If you have questions, leave them in the comments. We're newbies, but I'll do my best to help!<br />
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AHHHH! I love breathing in this Blogger air. I've missed you guys!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-32734840956847634722017-11-15T13:58:00.002-08:002017-11-15T13:58:20.024-08:00We're more than Diabetes<div class="MsoNormal">
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I sit here alone in the middle of Indiana. <o:p></o:p></div>
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A silent house. <o:p></o:p></div>
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A loud soul. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It pounds against my mind, begging for me to work through
the feelings of anger, love, gratefulness, and fear.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The stories of Diabetic lives swirl around me. At times they
can overwhelm my senses and put my busyness on pause.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In this moment I quiet my mind and ponder the last 20 years. The blood, the tears, the
triumphs, the numbers…all of it replaying in subdued black and white. I see the
history of my family and the impact of friendships and unconditional love. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I marvel at it all. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s impossible to box up all my emotions in one tidy blog
post. Diabetes has been a constant companion, yet my history is so much richer
than the worry it imparts.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My history includes four children. Little boys who danced and ran
and laughed with tears streaming down their faces. Forty perfect toes, and
eight bright eyes that have been through hell and back. <o:p></o:p></div>
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A hell that has very little to do with Diabetes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As I take in the pictures and turn them from black and white
to color, I don’t see insulin pumps. I don’t see test strips. I don’t see sleepless nights.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I see boys who are human and are trying to make sense of all
the chaos life has to offer. I see them walking as steady as possible in treacherous winds.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Hard things. So many hard things.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But with all of it, so many more blessings.<o:p></o:p></div>
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J is the most loving young man I know. He still holds my
hand. His hugs are never-ending. He’s been knocked down so many times as he’s
sorted through everything, and yet he gets up again and again.<o:p></o:p></div>
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B is a force. He’s a whirlwind of empathy and care wrapped
in the persona of a grumpy old man. He feels everything harder than everyone
else, and desperately tries to hold it all in. <o:p></o:p></div>
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L is a miracle. He has overcome so many obstacles and is
wise beyond his years. He’s kind. He’s sweetness from head to toe. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And M? He is a man. The little blond haired baby has turned
into a six foot blond haired man. A man that listens, loves, and above
all…tries his best. Always. <o:p></o:p></div>
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They are all so wonderful.</div>
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Yet, they are all so hard on themselves. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Because, Diabetes aside, life is a lot.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A lot of work.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A lot of feelings.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A lot of unknown.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A lot of not measuring up to impossible standards the
Internet so indignantly imparts.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We have a lot on our plates.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But we have plates…<o:p></o:p></div>
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And we have each other.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We have an extended family that has become home.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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We have so much more than Type 1 Diabetes in this house.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We have love. And we have faith. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some day my boys will see how
important that faith is. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until then, I’ll remind them that they are loved, and
try to give them the space to make mistakes so they can learn that life doesn’t
end with one bad day…or even one bad number.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our Diabetic Life?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s only part of the story. I leave that part here on
this page…but there is so much more to us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Volumes and volumes of text of more.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m done letting Diabetes overwhelm me today. I’m dusting off my faith and trusting in our beautiful future.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anger? What good is it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love? It's everything.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gratefulness? It turns what we have into enough.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And Fear? What is the point? Life goes on whether we live it to the fullest or not. Why let the fear mask all the good? Why miss out on happiness?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m grateful for all that I have, and I love my people. So so much.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Diabetes makes me love more...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I just can't be angry about that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-42027203410583265662017-11-03T08:13:00.000-07:002017-11-03T08:13:39.173-07:00Diabetes Awareness Month Fallout<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s Diabetes Awareness Month, or as I like to call it,
Diabetes Throat Punches me Every Time I go onto Facebook Month.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everyone is doing an amazing job of posting. My newsfeed is
full of picture after picture; story after story, PSA after PSA…all good things!
After all, it’s education that is much needed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Diabetes has a lot of awaring to do, for sure.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I always start day one of November with the best of
intentions. I want to educate. I want to show the world the work, the
dedication, the pain, the all-the-time of Diabetes. I want to be a good
advocate!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I also want to hide.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want to curl up in a corner and pretend the seriousness of
Diabetes away.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want to live in a world where Diabetes isn’t a big deal.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t want to think about my boys’ lifetime reliance on
insulin.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t want to think about what could happen if one of us
messes up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I fee guilty that I feel this way. I feel guilty that this
month overwhelms me so. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because it is my job to advocate, making the world a kinder one for
my children.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But it’s also my job to stay strong. I can’t do that looking
at the reality of Diabetes every time I jump on Facebook. (Which is a lot.
Don’t judge.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Facebook is a double-edged sword for me. One side I find
relief, acceptance, and “me too.” On the other side I find Diabetes everything: A constant reminder that this thing will always be there. A constant reminder
that there is no cure. A constant reminder that this disease is hard,
physically and emotionally for my boys.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been able to temper my brain into accepting only enough
information and emotion so I can successfully rally through each day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But when Diabetes Awareness Month rolls
around, the information overfloweth and my brain swelleth.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It makes me angry. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It makes me sad.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It makes me feel everything harder.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I already feel enough. My feeling cup is full.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hold it together all year long, but exposing the truths of
this disease exposes my vulnerability. (Hold on, let me grab a robe…my
vulnerability is showing…)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can only hope that by having my little pity party, I will
educate the world on just how all encompassing Type 1 Diabetes is. It affects
every aspect of our lives. It can never be ignored…ever. (Well, it can for a few hours if we want to ignore consequences. But I'm my boys' mother. It is my responsibility to keep them healthy and alive...which is a pretty big responsibility, magnified tenfold when diabetes is in the picture.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Diabetes is a family member
that lives with us that NEVER SHUTS UP. We try to make it comfortable, we try to
keep it happy and quiet…but it’s always walking into the room, “Blah, Blah,
BLAH BLAH BLAH!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t worry…I see it. I need to stop this post now.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyhoo…thanks for listening. I’ve gotten out all my angst
and I will now post this and go back to reading my newsfeed with my mascara
close by for easy reapplication. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you to all of you who have the strength and fortitude to post your stories. I know they make a difference. I hope I can get over myself and make a difference too.</div>
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-68404832711267323902017-10-04T13:07:00.002-07:002017-10-04T13:22:41.744-07:00I heard my son's name.<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had just returned from a long trip and was sleeping
soundly in my own bed. My dreams were vivid and detailed; My consciousness wasn’t anywhere
near where my body slumbered. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I heard my son’s name and it woke me up. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I opened my eyes and listened. There was only silence. It
was 4:30am and the house was still. I picked up my phone to check the boys’
blood sugar numbers. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
L was 130.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
B was 70.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
J isn’t wearing a CGM at this time. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I tried to go back to sleep. Lately, it’s been common for B
to be around 70 about this time in the morning, but he always stays steady. I
had slept through a few alarms where he drifted to 69 and then back up to 70. (Man I've been sleeping through too many alarms again!) But, he
was waking up in an hour anyway...all would be well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I couldn’t sleep as my son’s name echoed in my ears. It was so real. The voice wasn't a yell, but rather an urgent, crisp call. It was a familiar voice that had woken me up. It sounded like B, but it wasn’t
B…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was Ryan. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m being stupid,” I thought. “Go to sleep.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But before I could close my eyes again I was up out of bed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Feeling foolish and a sense of urgency at the same time, I thought, “It won’t hurt to check on them.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I checked B first. He was 70. Exactly what the CGM said he
was. I set a temp basal of zero for a half hour and walked to the other side of
the room to check J.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was 350, which
was unusual for him. (I later found out he ate some leftover Chinese food at
midnight.) I corrected his sugar and thought that neither of these corrections was
really an emergency. I must have dreamed that I heard the name.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because I love all my boys, I went to L’s room and watched
his chest. It took a minute, but I finally saw it lift and softly fall in a big
sigh. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All was well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Go to bed, Meri.” I thought.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I couldn’t sleep when I returned to bed. My mind was alive
with information, and I was almost haunted by the question, “Why did I wake
up?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I tossed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I turned.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And 15 to 20 minutes later I got my answer.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
B’s Dexcom alarmed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I looked at my phone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It said he was 42.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I jumped up and went to his room.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I pricked his finger to check his blood sugar.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It said he was 39. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-----------------------------------------------------------<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"(Man I've been sleeping through too many alarms again!)" </i></blockquote>
-----------------------------------------------------------<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Needless to say, I’m thankful for miracles in my life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And also for guardian angels. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p> </div>
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-42173041263073390222017-09-22T10:37:00.002-07:002017-09-22T10:43:13.749-07:00They save their lives.<div class="MsoNormal">
His lanky body sat elegantly in the chair. The evening sun
glowed behind him, backlighting the delicate hairs on his neck. His chin was
raised and his expression was one of thoughtfulness. He flicked the insulin
bottle again and again until he was satisfied. Withdrawing the needle, he
nonchalantly began filling the reservoir. It all seemed so natural. If a
stranger had walked into our home at that moment, I don’t believe he would have
given my son a second glance. His movements were fluid, his eyes excited with
information, his face serene.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The beeps began and he sat back contently in his chair
waiting for the tube to prime. He saw me admiring him and his eyes narrowed.
“There’s nothing to see here,” he said with a chuckle behind his breath. But it
was too late, and seemingly impossible to look away. I was completely drawn in
by the image he was. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The entire scene seemed magical; like in those seconds I was
blessed to watch a rare moment in nature. A whale breaching, two bear cubs
snuggling, and my son changing the set in his insulin pump…all beautiful
moments not seen often by the world. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My son was saving his own life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And nobody even knows but us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The scene changed quickly as more people entered the room.
One was bobbing an apple up and down in his hand and the other was busy
discussing his day. Neither seemed in awe by what B was doing. It struck me:
this really is our normal.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In came the youngest and with a clap of his hand on B’s
shoulder he says, “Save some of that insulin for me.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Sure…I think there’s a couple drops left.” B slid the
practically empty insulin bottle to his brother, clearly amused in his
brother’s disappointment. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
L unscrewed his pump from his abdomen and walked over the
refrigerator.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He scanned the contents of
the shelves, absentmindedly grabbing a bottle of insulin and nestling it in his
armpit. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What time is dinner?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“6:15” I said wistfully, my head resting on my hand as I
treasured my boys.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
L reached back in the fridge and gabbed a sugar free Jello,
“This will hold me over.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I walked over to the Diabetes supply cupboard and surveyed
the contents. I realized we needed to order pump supplies. I had no idea we are so
close to running out. I slid open the drawer where the boys toss their sharps
and was taken aback by the pile before me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Didn’t I just clean out this drawer?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All the set changes, all the finger pricks, all the texts asking my boys if they bolused…it’s all invisible to the world. Sometimes it's even invisible to me. Scenes
like the above wash by me without a second thought, and before I know it, there’s
a pile of sharps again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It really is Our Diabetic Life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I’m thankful that once in a while I can see the beauty
in it and appreciate the work my boys put in day in and day out. Even if they
act a little later than I want them to…at least they act. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I haven’t changed a pump set in years. I poke fingers only
at night, and even then it’s beginning to seem foreign to me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I used to save my boys’ lives, but now they save their own.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The enormity of that statement is mind-boggling…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yet completely imponderable too.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-4072139774045719542017-07-25T08:39:00.002-07:002017-07-25T18:54:23.619-07:00A 4am plea to Insulin Pump Companies.<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Let’s get real here.<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is an insulin pump defect that needs to be addressed.
The defect is mostly affecting teenagers, Although children and adults everywhere
are susceptible to the consequences this defect provides…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Listen. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let me lay this out for you. I’m going to talk about teenagers here. (Not about your
teenager, I’m sure your teenager is an honor student, and perfectly obedient to
all alarms, and does most everything right, and would never even fathom what’s
about to go down here. Ok? This probably doesn’t apply to you…but you can keep
reading. For pity, or you know…to boost your self-esteem….I get it…)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyway.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m fully aware that teens’ frontal lobes haven’t completely connected properly…they’re victims until the mid 20’s.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know they’re at a disadvantage. I know it isn’t
their fault.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A lot…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Teenagers as a collective? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
YES!…teenagers as a group can’t do all the necessary
remembering all the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their brains
just don’t have the synapsis for reason to travel upon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes they forget. Or procrastinate.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ok, listen.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s 4 am.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m just a girl, standing in front of all pump companies,
asking for some love. A little help here, please?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When a pump runs out of insulin, there needs to be epicness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sure the synapses are still working on creating their paths
from one side of the brain to another, but for teens there is one synapse that
has a sure, well connected path: The Embarrassment Synapse. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When insulin runs out on a pump…<span style="font-size: large;">you guys need to make it
embarrassing for teenagers.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So they’ll actually add more insulin. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">BECAUSE THEY IGNORE THE ALARMS.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Listen. LINDA, LISTEN.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://giphy.com/embed/VtERHM69JjJMk" width="269"></iframe><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
You’re sweet little “No Delivery” notification isn’t cutting
it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You need to be more creative.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There needs to be a noise. An unbearable noise. One that
will only go away once fresh insulin is added to the reservoir. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Screeching cicadas? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Weird Al Yankovich singing “Ice Ice Baby?” But like, not
making the words funny…just straight out singing it over and over and over
again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or I don’t know…I’m just snowballing here…but maybe a hologram
can pop up from their pumps of their mother telling stories about potty
training them… at age 8?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Something super embarrassing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ListenListenListen<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It HAS to be embarrassing for it to work. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because if it happens and it’s embarrassing the first time?
There will not be a second time. Period. (I mean, I know there was a period there, but I had to write it out for emphasis.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Teenagers will avoid embarrassment at any cost.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Super important reiteration:</i> It can’t stop. The noise, the
hologram, all of it…it must continue until the new insulin is in the pump. Even
if the battery is taken out. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There must be no dismissal.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Listen.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Linda. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Please.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am tired of waking up in the middle of the night to empty
reservoirs. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sure, I make them change it themselves. I’m not going to
make it easier for them to ignore…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I still have to get out of bed and make them lucid
enough to understand the words, “YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR SET RIGHT NOW. NO.
INSULIN.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s harder than it sounds. There was one time one of them
went downstairs and just fell asleep on the couch.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Also, waking them completely wakes me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It doesn’t happen all the time so don’t get all huffy, lecturing me on the divine nuances of parenthood.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They are teenagers. THEIR BRAINS ARE AT A DISADVANTAGE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=teenagers+brains+are+still+forming&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8" target="_blank">It’s a scientific fact.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, it's super frustrating when it happens. And even though it isn’t
all the time, or all that often…It FEELS like all the time. Ok?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Look it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We need magic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Magic
help.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You can do it pump people. YOU CAN.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I totally believe in you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p> </div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-19840972629823844092017-07-12T08:32:00.000-07:002017-07-12T08:38:21.031-07:007 years later, 19 years in.<br />
The post titled, <a href="http://www.ourdiabeticlife.com/2010/07/still-little-broken.html" target="_blank">Still a Little Broken</a>, popped up in my Facebook memories today. I read it as an outsider, sad for the girl that wrote the words. But then the memories came creeping back in. The brokenness that I lived with returned to me in powerful waves. I remembered clearly the heaviness of the day to day. I saw perfectly the worry that affected the person I was.<br />
<br />
I was more broken than I admitted to you that day.<br />
<br />
But life molds us. And as we move forward, perspectives change. I presume aging has something to do with it too. We experience unthinkable tragedies and we survive. Fear hardens and turns into strength. Knowledge becomes power. And most of all, the brokenness becomes a powerful cohort.<br />
<br />
Everything that I've experienced in my life has given me the tools to cope with the background music of Diabetes.<br />
<br />
I don't let it control my emotions like I once did.<br />
<br />
Maybe I'm numb.<br />
<br />
Maybe I'm smarter.<br />
<br />
Maybe I'm dumber.<br />
<br />
But somehow, not on purpose, I stopped letting Diabetes control my entire being.<br />
<br />
I was able to let go of the debilitating guilt. (Not all the guilt, I'm a mother after all.) But most of it.<br />
<br />
I Don't fault myself for living the way I did for so many years. In fact, I probably needed to be that way. It hurts me to think about. It was hard.<br />
<br />
But now I can look at the numbers without fear, or anger. Because I have to. If I took them personally I would go insane. They come to me every five minutes, twenty four hours a day. The numbers will never stop.<br />
<br />
Like driving a car we constantly adjust the wheel to keep things going in the right direction. Even when going down a straight highway we need to adjust...there's no taking the hand off the wheel. We try not to veer off the road, but know if we do, we have the tools to fix the car and move on.<br />
<br />
We'll always be driving together. As the kids grow they take turns taking the wheel, but I'm there if they get tired, or reckless. Someday I'll be kicked out of the car, but right now I'm still riding along...<br />
<br />
And somewhere along the way, I don't know when it happened, I realized that we have control over the stereo. Not diabetes. All it took was our changing the station.<br />
<br />
The background music is what we want it to be.<br />
<br />
It sounds easier than it was. But it was a simple concept nonetheless.<br />
<br />
I don't let Diabetes change who I am anymore. But it built me.<br />
<br />
The person I am today stands on the foundation that I built with blood, sweat, and tears for years and years. Though I don't stand on the foundation as the slave that I was. I stand proudly on my work and own myself now. I am the ruler of my life.<br />
<br />
Well, most of the time. Life is crazy after all.<br />
<br />
More than anything I just want those of you who are building your foundations to know, that later, you'll be thankful for the work your putting in now. To each of you in all the phases of your lives, someday the worry you hold will be an asset, not a liability.<br />
<br />
"Everything will be ok in the end. And if it's not ok, than it's not the end."<br />
<br />
I use to tell myself that all the time.<br />
<br />
Now I don't have to, because I know it.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Cheers to you and all your hard work.<br />
<br />
You are loved.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-28242954528334329872017-06-12T11:00:00.000-07:002017-06-12T11:02:14.786-07:00Reenactment: Teenager Set Change<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t usually post about teenager stuff, but this post is
written with permission by my 13 year old.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When you read it, you’ll see why.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Saturday morning I was woken up by said 13 year old. He had
filled his reservoir and asked if I’d be willing to pop his set in. He’s not a
big fan of the “popping it in” part, and insists it doesn’t hurt as much when I
do it. When I’m not around, he does it…but it was Saturday, so…of course. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was not quite awake, but I cleared my fuzzy brain best I
could and popped it in whilst still lying down.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I could see the relief on his face. “Wow. That was a really
good one!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After this he went to eat breakfast.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The following is a transcript of what transpired next:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Why the two arrows up on the Dex? Did you bolus for
breakfast?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes, Mommm! I bolused!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
An hour later. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Kid. Still two arrows up and now you’re in the high 300’s.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you want to check my history? I bolused! And I bolused
BEFORE I ate.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well, give yourself a couple extra units. Maybe you didn’t
bolus enough.”<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
"I'll give myself four extra units. Chances are good I'll eat a granola bar soon."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
An hour later his Dex said “High” with an arrow up.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
"Did you eat a granola bar?"<br />
<br />
"Nope."<br />
<br />
"Did you eat anything other than breakfast this morning?"<br />
<br />
"Nope."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Did you bolus for breakfast before or after the set
change.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“After.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“When I popped your set in, you looked really happy. Did you
even feel it?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No. It was amazing," he said whistfully.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We’re going to have to put in a new set. This one must be
kinked.” I began to get up off the couch when I felt him grab my hand.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
With both his hands cradling mine, he looked hopefully into my eyes...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Mom. Listen. That was the best set-change in three months.
Please don’t take that away from me...”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“And that’s why it has to be changed. It probably isn’t
good. You’re over 400.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don't look back but I feel the twang of a glare hitting me in the back of my head.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I insert another set and gently peel back the old one to see
if it was bad.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was perfect. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Crap.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“NOOOOO! I can’t believe it. I knew it was good! Oh my gosh.
Apology. I think this deserves an apology.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Not so fast. This still doesn’t explain why you’re going so
high. Why did you change your set so early this morning? Was it low reservoir,
or out of insulin?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It didn’t SAY ‘no insulin.’ You know, with words.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“How many units did you have left?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Silence.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It said ‘- - -‘ didn’t it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes. It did.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Why didn’t you change your set when you got the low
reservoir alarm?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Mom. It was Midnight! I was tired!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Besides, it said I had 2.9 units left.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Dude. Your basal rate would eat that up in an hour and a
half.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“12 units? Really??!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You said 2.9 and now you’re saying 12.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It’s all the same.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you know what your basal rates are? Do you even know
what a basal rate is? Your pump gives insulin even when you don’t push buttons.
If there is no insulin to give, you get ketones….OH MY GOSH. You probably have
ketones! That explains it!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I know what basal is, and I don’t have ketones.” (eye roll)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh. We’re checking!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I take out the Blood Ketone Monitor he says,” This is a
waste of a ketone strip. It’s going to say I’m 0.2”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh, we will see!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We watch the monitor count down, and at the end of it? 0.2<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Crap! I mean, Awesome!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Apology. I want an apology!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“DUDE. I want an apology! You didn’t change your set last
night when it said Low Reservoir!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“IT. Was. MIDNIGHT. I was really tired.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You know I’m going to blog this right. This is blogging
gold.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Go ahead. I was tired. Is that a crime?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You can’t live without insulin, kid. Diabetes doesn’t get
tucked in at midnight. It devours insulin 24/7. Diabetes doesn’t sleep!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’ll apologize if you apologize. You took out the perfect
set.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“If you want me to apologize for being an awesome D Mom,
then yes, I apologize.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It didn’t need to be changed! You need to apologize for
changing it!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I did what I had to do. I was trying to keep you safe. I
won’t apologize for it. You on the other hand…”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I had 2.9 units! There was insulin in my pump when I went
to sleep!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“GIVE. ME. YOUR. PUMP.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He hands it over defiantly. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Your basal rate right now is 1.65 from midnight to 4am, and
1.85 from 4am to 9am. Puberty demands a ton of insulin. Now lets do the math.
1.65 units for three hours is 4.95 units of insulin. Add that to the next five
hours at 1.85 per hour and that is 14.2 units of insulin needed while you slept
last night. Take away the 2.9 you said was left, that means there was 11.3
units that was not delivered that your body needed.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is a long thoughtful pause, and then he says with a
far off look in his eyes, “Whoa. It’s official. I’m a teenager.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He threw himself into my arms and gave me a long hug. "I'm sorry mom." </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I
whispered into his ear. “I’m still blogging this.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He whispers back. “I know.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-19699299229862824952017-06-07T05:39:00.001-07:002017-06-07T05:39:22.647-07:00A life of "probably"<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
I’ve lived in this world of “probably” for the last 19
years. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“He’s probably ok.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“He can probably get through the day safely.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“He’s probably going to go low.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“He’s probably going to need extra insulin.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s probably enough food.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And every single morning when I open my eyes:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“He’s probably alive.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m aware that nothing in life is for sure; in fact that is
how I survive my life of probably…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But my “probably” and a family’s “probably” that doesn’t
have children with a chronic disease live on completely different “probably”
planes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our percentage of ideal outcomes
very widely. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Type 1 Diabetes is one big fat probably.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nothing ever is for sure; meaning random variables are
always present.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<!--StartFragment-->
<div class="MsoNormal">
“My children are going to probably live through the day.” It’s
a truth for every parent. It’s an ever-present reality for me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That is why the Dexcoms my boys’ wear have been life
changing for me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wake up in that cold sweat in the middle of the night,
wondering if I slept through my alarm, and in that very instant I can look at
my phone and see that all is well. I can glance at my phone in the middle of a
movie and see if my boys at home remembered to bolus for their dinner. I can be
driving and look at my watch and know that my college student is safe.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can see if their sugars are trending up. I can see the
double arrows down indicating quick action is needed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can breathe better, because those moments when I have to
hold my breath are fewer and far between.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How can I convey the monumentality of this?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After using Dexcom for 6 months our insurance denied our
reorder. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This has never happened to me before. Our family has always
been extremely blessed to have insurance that would pay for everything, and
have doctors that would know exactly what to say to make sure things got
covered.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And here I was facing the end of those extra breaths. I knew
we could survive without it, obviously, but I also knew our quality of life was
better with it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or maybe it’s fairer to say, MY quality of life was better
with it. I can’t speak for my teenagers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But for me? To have the background worry paused every now
and then brought a soft breeze of normalcy that I haven’t been able to enjoy
for a long, long time. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t take the Dexcom numbers for granted. I knew they
were a gift. But now to have that all taken away?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Cue “it isn’t fair” rant.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But thankfully, I had met a new friend last month willing to
pass along some sensors.<br />
<br />
And thankfully too, Dexcom called us because a friend had
passed them along this tweet.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
<div dir="ltr" lang="en" style="text-align: center;">
6 months of <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/dexcom?src=hash">#dexcom</a> for my 3 boys and life is better. But "Too bad," says Insurance, "No more Dexcom for you." <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ouch?src=hash">#ouch</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/denied?src=hash">#denied</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/devestated?src=hash">#devestated</a> <a href="https://t.co/q0OheQadT8">pic.twitter.com/q0OheQadT8</a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
— Meri / Diabetes (@our3Dlife) <a href="https://twitter.com/our3Dlife/status/857663732452921344">April 27, 2017</a></div>
</blockquote>
<script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Also thankfully, our new Endocrinologist here in Indiana is a
fighter and even though it took almost 6 weeks…I’ve received word that the
Dexcom supplies have been approved for all three boys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Though nothing is just that easy. I called the pharmacy to
see if they’ve processed the order and they said they are waiting on a fax from
our Endo with the approval. I messaged our Endo and they haven’t actually
received the approval yet. They received it verbally, but not in writing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It will probably work out. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The problem with “probably” is it’s not a passive thing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Probably takes constant effort, there is no sitting back in
a big comfy chair, forgetting about Diabetes and expecting everything to
“probably” be ok.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The fates don’t have any control in the direction of my
teenagers’ blood sugars. Only effort and thought does. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And with the Dexcoms, it takes a lot less effort, and a lot
less thought…for my boys.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For me, it has enabled my position as my boys’ PDS.
(Personal Diabetes Secretary.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s a job I’ve recently taken on to help my struggling
teenagers out.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m probably annoying them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But when I remind them, they take action.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And that is a big win.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you, Dexcom. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hope with all my heart that we’ll (probably) never part.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-69303515146279747652017-05-18T15:23:00.000-07:002017-05-18T15:31:26.198-07:00It's not about her. <div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She’s looking into her child’s eyes, scared, but she smiles wide. Her love for her child must be stronger than her fear. Her world is falling down around her but all that matters is she
stay strong for him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He didn’t deserve this diagnosis. Why? Why him?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She will take as much of the hurt and burden away as long as
she can.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She will work hard.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She will take care of him every minute of every day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She will cry in the shower.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She will cry after her husband sleeps.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She will cry in her car on the way to school, but keep make
up and eye drops in her purse to hide the redness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And when he is sick, she will close her eyes and sing to
him. She will push down the fear. She will stay awake. She will not let him see
her tremble.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When she draws the insulin she continues to push down the feelings. She pushes down the anger she
has for a disease that is holding her child captive and the logical thoughts
that tell her none of this is normal.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She tells herself over and over that this is all perfectly normal. Type 1 Diabetes is their
normal now. She will not let it control their life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She listens to the pharmacist tell her it’s too soon to get
insulin. She has ½ a bottle left. Her stomach turns into a hard ball. Her
throat closes. She wants to scream. She wants to throw her fist on the table.
But instead, she is all business and is only focused on finding a solution. She calls the doctor. She
calls the insurance. She is firm, but her voice cracks as she holds in the
tears. He will get insulin. She simply has to fight. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And fight she will. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p>She will always fight.</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Her son is in the hospital. He has an ear infection and the
insulin he is using is slow and antiquated. She sits in the corner, rocking
methodically. Enduring. Willing the minutes to pass so tomorrow will be here.
Watching her baby being poked with needles, and tubes inserted in various
places…it is torture. There is no worse suffering for a mother than to see her
child helpless and afraid.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She has two alarms set for the night, but she can’t sleep anyway.
Her mind is a Ferris Wheel, turning the same thoughts over and over in her
head. She has a meeting with his new school tomorrow. She will have to
discuss his needs without scaring them. She will pretend that their normal
isn’t scary. She will lie.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Two more of her babies are diagnosed. A piece of her heart
dying each time. She wonders how she can walk upright when she walks with
despair so heavy, at times it is staggering. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every parent is held up thinking about the possibilities of
their children’s futures. When a new diagnoses is in the mix, the future has
blurry lines…there are so may unknowns. She can’t use their future as a crutch for today. She has to find the joy in the now. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She walks the hallways of each and every school feeling
every bit the stranger. The parents talk about what worries them. None of them
worry their child won’t wake up in the morning. They don’t know what she
carries except the extra pounds on her waist, consequences of late nights stress
eating waiting for lows to come up, and highs to come down.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Inevitably...supplies are forgotten. Insulin doses are forgotten. Sugar
checks are forgotten. An alarm is slept through. The guilt weighs on her. She
pushes it down to her toes. If it fills her up, it will make her bitter. She
wants to radiate love, not bitterness, so she tries to release the guilt and
let it fly away…but it’s so heavy. Guilt can’t fly. It will forever be a part
of her. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not the bigger part of her though.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She becomes a magician. She can turn frustration into
serenity. She can turn loneliness into wellness. She can turn a bad day into a
map for a better tomorrow. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She flips each feeling onto their head when things don’t go
their way.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Things rarely go their way.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But her magic trumps the heaviness of the disease. Her smile
overrules all of the darkness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She always smiles. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She tells them she is sure all will be well. She never stops
moving forward. Diabetes pushes her back when she is taken off guard, but she
lifts her heavy feet and moves, and works, and tries, until everything is ok
again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Flipping emotions can take its toll.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are days, few and far between, that she
lets it all come to the surface. She releases all her complicated feelings
through tears and fits of despair. She stomps her feet. She yells. She is angry
at the world…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then she pulls herself together. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And she smiles wide again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Forward.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because it’s not about her. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was never about her. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s always about them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They are everything. They are her air. They are pieces of
her soul.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What is the emotional toll on a mother with children with
Diabetes?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No one will ever really know. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because her love, strength, and determination softens every
bit of it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She has convinced herself that everything will be ok.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And they believe it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And that, my friends, is all that matters.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br />
<i>(This is my 4th post for D Blog Week. See more info on it <a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/p/201-diabetes-blog-week-topics-posts.html">HERE</a>.)</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-48229306399646994832017-05-17T11:57:00.000-07:002017-05-17T14:07:41.576-07:00Blaming backfires.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fault: (Noun) An unattractive or unsatisfactory feature in a
piece of work or in a person’s behavior.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fault: (Noun) Responsibility for an accident or misfortune.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fault: (Verb) Criticize for inadequacy or mistakes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We live in a world where everyone wants to find fault.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Things are going very wrong and to cope, we want someone to
blame. Someone to aim our anger and frustration.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This has gotten out of hand online. There are those who blame and hate, who need little or no evidence to back up their assumptions.
There are some who are not afraid to spew judgment and heated remarks over
their keyboard, even though when face-to-face they would be kind and
unassuming. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We hold on to blame like a security blanket. It stops us
from seeing our own faults, and hones our focus onto circumstances and peoples' actions that are out of our control.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Finding fault seems to release us from feeling any fault of
our own.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s a virus that has spread to the very core of our
society.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As a result, people feel justified in their bitterness. “If
someone else is responsible for all the bad in the world, then I can self
righteously stand here and point, and hate.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But what’s happening is that when one harbors hate, it can’t
all be directed outwardly. It is something that lingers inside and changes the
very fiber of who we are. We don’t need to be held accountable for our actions
if our actions are given momentum from someone else’s wrongdoing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Blaming others for our miserableness can only backfire.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://giphy.com/embed/ABqQMAScSk4da" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/kick-freedom-nmatv-ABqQMAScSk4da">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The world seems to be spinning off its axis. Integrity and
accountability seems to have all but vanished in the public eye.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it’s bringing us down.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We cannot feel hate and leave ourselves unscathed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bitterness and blame are acid to our hearts.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is another way.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love. Kindness. Hope. Action. Respect. These are still
important. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Diabetes isn’t going to go away. If we are miserable
because of diabetes, it’s not diabetes fault.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The current healthcare climate isn’t going to change soon.
If we are unhappy about the ways things are, we must incite change.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But remember, no one has ever changed their mind when they
are being accused or blamed. Minds are only changed in real conversations.
Those in which ideas can be brought forth and respected on both sides.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Change occurs when we put our souls on the
table and talk about how we are feeling. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our fears. Our hopes. Our confusion.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Blaming won’t solve our problems. Having a conversation
beginning with "YOU NEED TO" isn’t going to get us anywhere.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We must find a way to be sincere again. Heaven knows, sarcasm
has its place in our society…but sincerity has become something guarded….
something we share only with our inner circles.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What if every one of us became sincere in all our
encounters?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What if we entered conflict wanting to talk with someone
rather than talking at them?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What if conversations started happening and people actually
began listening to each other. Two-way conversations seem to have become a rare
commodity these days.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sure there are idiots out there, but I’d venture to guess that
there are many people being blamed for idiocy, rather than the true culprit,
simply being uniformed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If we could change the tone of the dialogue, we could change
the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It starts with us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
It starts at home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On a hunch I googled "Brene Brown blame" and found this piece of gold. Food for thought...</div>
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RZWf2_2L2v8" width="480"></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />
<i>This is my post for day three of D Blog Week. You can find more info about it <a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/p/201-diabetes-blog-week-topics-posts.html">HERE.</a></i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">MERI</span>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-74767470141113941492017-05-16T16:01:00.001-07:002017-05-16T16:05:44.059-07:00Apathy and ignorance are what cost us the most.<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
What is life worth?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Insurance is a for profit business, so this is a legitimate
question.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It used to be that things were billed according to minutes,
or hours spent with a patient. What is one’s time worth? That’s a fair
question.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It used to be that a medicine was priced according to production costs along with a specific profit margin. What did this medicine cost to make, and what is a fair percentage for profit? Also, a fair question.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But now insurance companies, doctors, and Pharma companies
are asking, “What is the value of what I’m doing (or producing) for the patient
community?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ouch. Again…what is life worth?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is a video on Facebook of a man confronting his
congressman asking, “Is it moral to see a human being drowning and ask if they
can pay to be saved?” From what I understand, if a person shows up to an
emergency room and has no money, he will be saved regardless.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BUT. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If a person shows up to a pharmacy and asks for insulin, and
has no money? That’s too bad. You can’t have it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The hormone that your body must have to stay alive will be
withheld from you if you do not have the means to pay, or in most cases, even
if you do not have a current prescription.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It only takes a few hours without that hormone to put you on
deaths door. Insulin isn’t a luxury. Insulin isn’t plan B. Insulin isn’t
negotiable when a person has Type 1 Diabetes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yet a pharmacist will say no. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is it the pharmacist’s fault?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Does the pharmacist even know the difference between Type 1
and Type 2 Diabetes?<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Does the pharmacist know if someone leaves without insulin, they could die within days?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Probably not.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, our healthcare system is messed up in epic proportions,
but I believe it is the ignorance that is costing us the most.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A month ago there was a new nurse filling in at the Jr.
High.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have never met her. I did not
know we had a new nurse filling in sometimes. The lunch monitor saw my son
eating sorbet for lunch. He knew that my son had “diabetes.” He went to this
new nurse, who had never met my son, and told him that my son had diabetes and
was eating an unhealthy lunch. What happened next is what’s important: This nurse
called my son out of class and gave him a lecture on eating properly with
“diabetes” and gave him no less than 4 pamphlets on the rules to living healthy
with Type 2 Diabetes. She also told him the consequences of him not eating a healthier lunch.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This person is a nurse. She is in the medical profession.
She is in charge if there is an emergency with my son at school…and she knew
nothing of his condition, or worse, because he isn’t stick thin like my other
Type 1 son, she figured that “Obviousy, he’s Type 2.” She undid years of my building his self-esteem in one conversation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Regardless...if medical professionals, insurance companies
and most everyone else on the planet doesn't know what Type 1 Diabetes is…then all our worry and voiced concern is falling on deaf ears.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Apathy and Ignorance are costing our community much more than
money.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They are costing us access to affordable healthcare, and tools needed to survive.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They are costing the Type 1 community lives. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Type 2 isn’t even in my wheelhouse and I’m privy to enough
information to know they are getting the short end of the stick every live-long
day as well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are worried about the price of insulin yet many insurance
companies ask us to prove our children, (or ourselves,) are still on insulin.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Insulin companies are hosting workshops to discuss ways to
get around the system to pay less, and then upping their prices the next week
8.5%. The information from the bottom did not get to the top. And honestly, do
they care?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What the actual hell?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Politicians tout that my children “deserve” their disease
because of laziness and lifestyle. My boys were babies when diagnosed.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
My son J, diagnosed at 8 months old.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqTaiY7byeoJRgPeMlfcXYt4M6q1KwiMZVRV4PGdFJdj7izDdaJjPDJGncCm77UuZWvQQhgYCX1xjRLFkmhFBOyhcWfpkSSeYG2Z4WchPMkshKpdcVylV-x0iyigMyDmXiBUs1nXC-LE0/s1600/jdiagnosis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqTaiY7byeoJRgPeMlfcXYt4M6q1KwiMZVRV4PGdFJdj7izDdaJjPDJGncCm77UuZWvQQhgYCX1xjRLFkmhFBOyhcWfpkSSeYG2Z4WchPMkshKpdcVylV-x0iyigMyDmXiBUs1nXC-LE0/s320/jdiagnosis.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
<br />
My son L, diagnosed at 2 years old.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivFX8M19b_kNPVCjugnz_GN-EDAxgzyjKFl8zeq4KTbu701OO-2yp_cwOH8gMU05ircGfpkki0686xWSIIYScvzoki0rlsR-FLhctc7ng5iYO6ZicaVOWwJpM-RzKlG57Rl8RkfrtcCAE/s1600/ldiagnosis-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivFX8M19b_kNPVCjugnz_GN-EDAxgzyjKFl8zeq4KTbu701OO-2yp_cwOH8gMU05ircGfpkki0686xWSIIYScvzoki0rlsR-FLhctc7ng5iYO6ZicaVOWwJpM-RzKlG57Rl8RkfrtcCAE/s320/ldiagnosis-2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
My son B, diagnosed at 5 years old.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMH4s0WjBXhIRHEJ9dqatKcza7Uw1_8d_ynCDhU7XQP6IzISg1JngI6Qn3ScjxnCTVBzx5PGTvVa_dPDIsbHD80vOvNagCLKJEcxefYMYPkO-saDZPfRSWmLr-_sXw8MlmIGtGNIPHMmg/s1600/bdiagnosis-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMH4s0WjBXhIRHEJ9dqatKcza7Uw1_8d_ynCDhU7XQP6IzISg1JngI6Qn3ScjxnCTVBzx5PGTvVa_dPDIsbHD80vOvNagCLKJEcxefYMYPkO-saDZPfRSWmLr-_sXw8MlmIGtGNIPHMmg/s320/bdiagnosis-2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everything is backwards <span style="font-size: large;">and education is lacking </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">and my
children are suffering because of it </span>and if I could, I would roar a giant roar
to stop the madness.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="198" src="https://giphy.com/embed/12ANYkldS5ZHsA" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/2013-jared-leto-12ANYkldS5ZHsA">via GIPHY</a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What is the cost of diabetes? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Emotional wormholes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fighting for the obvious.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Exhaustive educating.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even still...we cannot stop.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
We must not stop.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We must educate. We must stand up. We must write those in
the government, and those reporting news, and tell our stories. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sure, many are controlled by money, or lobbyist, and are playing the
system to their advantage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But what if we gave up? What if we stopped advocating,
educating…TRYING.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What would be the cost of that?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I shudder to even think about it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because I know that the life of my boys is worth more than apathy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Please tell your story. Please try. You are needed.<br />
<br />
It's time for change.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-5749421887088500462017-05-15T12:13:00.000-07:002017-05-15T12:13:16.108-07:00The Unexpected<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
After a Type 1 Diabetes diagnosis...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is unexpected to find that blood sugars numbers are
rarely in the place Doctors tell you they should be.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is unexpected to find that one unit of insulin brought
blood sugar down 50 points last week, and tonight, for whatever reason, one
unit only brings blood sugar down 10 points. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is unexpected to eat an apple, weigh the apple, bolus
insulin for the apple, wait 10 minutes to eat said apple, and not have a
perfect blood sugar number.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is unexpected that a day of swimming from noon to three
leads to lows at midnight.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is quite unexpected that after a Type 1 Diabetes
diagnosis, patients and caregivers find they have to make multiple life or
death decisions every single day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is unexpected that someone with Diabetes can’t just sleep
without worry. Blood sugars fluctuate at night. There is no magic 6 hours off when one closes their eyes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is unexpected to find out that worry, weather, and
illness greatly affect blood sugar numbers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is unexpected that even though Type 1 is an autoimmune condition, people blame children and adults for their
Diabetes. Diabetes is a buzzword indicating lazy and fat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is unexpected that I take blood pressure medicine that
magically puts my blood pressure at a perfect level, and insulin does anything
but with blood sugars. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is unexpected to go to a doctor and listen to them blame
you for the blood sugar numbers you or your child are having. It is unexpected
that Diabetes is so complicated, and no two people with Diabetes are alike.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is unexpected that we're told what kind of insulin we should use by a company that has never met us. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is unexpected that a disease that must be vigilantly
focused on 24 hours a day 365 days a year isn’t automatically tied to some type
of emotional help for patients and caregivers alike.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is unexpected to find Chinese food doesn’t greatly affect one
boy’s blood sugars, takes a moderate amount of work for another boy’s blood sugars, and is a complete
disaster, in every senario, on another boy’s blood sugars. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is unexpected that some schools would rather not have
children with Diabetes in attendance on their campus because school nurses have
now become a luxury.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is unexpected that we have to fight with our insurance companies for something that can give us or our children a better quality of life, and potentially keep us or our children out of the hospital in the future.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is unexpected to do everything exactly the same every day
and every day get different results.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It seems as though Type 1 Diabetes is a synonym for the
unexpected. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’re thrown unceasing curveballs.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nothing about Type 1 Diabetes makes sense. They aren’t 100%
sure what causes it. They aren’t anywhere near sure what cures it. And insulin
is a daily crapshoot. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How do we cope as a family?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Obviously, we expect the unexpected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We try to take the curveballs with a stiff upper lip and move forward. We try not to take the numbers personally. We
prepare for the worse case scenario every time we leave the house.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have a child that has been living with Diabetes for 19
years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is 19 years old.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have another child that has been living with Diabetes for
11 years. He is 13 years old.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have a third child that has been living with Diabetes for
10 years. He is 15 years old.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every diagnosis was unexpected.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The fact that we are doing all this work with the exact same
insulin 19 years later is unexpected. I was told with every diagnosis a cure
would be found in 5 years. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I believe hope is a good thing. Being an optimistic person and giving up on a cure?…well…that was
unexpected.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want a cure, my children want a cure...but we'll settle for better.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The fact that Diabetes is still this much work, and this much
worry, after all these years?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Man, that was really unexpected.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> <i>(This is my first post for Diabetes Blog Week. Find out more information about it <a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/p/201-diabetes-blog-week-topics-posts.html">HERE!)</a></i></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-81883979616079800452017-05-11T09:52:00.002-07:002017-05-11T10:02:18.296-07:00On Lilly's unconscionable insulin price increase<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s a story about a man who was worried about his wife.
She was losing her hearing and she refused to go to the doctor. The man had a
close friend who was a doctor and he asked for his advice. The doctor advised
him to talk to her while her back was turned and then see how close he
needed to get before she would respond. This would tell him how significant the
hearing problem was. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The man returned home and sure enough he could see his wife
across the house; her back turned to him, doing the dishes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the doorway he sang, “Honey, I’m home!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The wife did not respond.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A step forward.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Honey, I’m home!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The wife continued with the dishes. She did not respond.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A few steps forward.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Honey, I’m home!” He said hopefully.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Again, no response.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Four steps forward this time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Honey, I’m home.” He said firmly, resolutely.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No response.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Taking three more steps, standing right behind her, he
whispered, defeated, “Honey. I’m home.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At which time the wife whirled herself around and yelled, “And
for the fifth time. I KNOW!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes, it’s hard to tell where the problem lies. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Apparently, Lilly Diabetes is having that problem right now.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They are looking outwardly at everyone else, blaming
everyone else for the prescription pricing problems we face in the United States,
when really; they have a serious problem of their own.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Their problem is they aren’t taking responsibilities for
their actions.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We have no choice. We have to work this way. The PBM’s made
us. It’s how the United States Healthcare System works.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But we all know Lilly Diabetes is a business. And the bottom
line comes first. I don’t care what they say.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last month I sat in a room full of Lilly executives and they
looked me in the eye and made it very clear they know what a travesty insulin
pricing is. They KNOW people are suffering. They KNOW it’s a problem. They sat
empathetically and listened to our stories, tears in their eyes, nodding their
heads. Saying they hear every word. There are individuals and families who can’t
pay for insulin. People have died because insulin is too expensive… <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Which makes yesterday’s Lilly Insulin price increase all the
more disgusting.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The fact that they KNOW their actions are yielding
unconscionable consequences, and yet…they continue on the same path with those same
actions, taking no responsibility for the havoc that lies in its wake? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Disgusting.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Blame the game, not the player?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sorry Lilly, you agreed to play. You made a conscious
decision to go out onto the field, and you are making a hefty profit because of it.
Your agreement with PBM’s is advantageous for PBM’s, yes…but it is just as
advantageous for you…. or you would not be playing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Really, how much does it cost to produce a vial of insulin?<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Humalog has been around for 20 years. It is not the newest model. It isn't the hope diamond. It is life support for millions of people with Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes. (For my children? Take insulin or die: no choice.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And Canada pays $35 a vial? You can’t tell me it costs more
than that to produce a vial, or you wouldn’t sell it to them for that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lilly is taking advantage of the system in the United
States. Do they glory in the loopholes? Do they revel in the fact that the government
has done NOTHING to stop the gouging going on?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But it’s not Lilly’s fault. They can. If it is legal, and
they can…why not? (#sarcasmfont)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.cnbc.com/2017/05/10/eli-lilly-raised-prices-on-9-drugs-last-week.html">This quote from the CNBC article hurts the most:<o:p></o:p></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #424858; font-family: "arial";">When pricing its products, Lilly takes into
account "the value they bring to patients and the healthcare system, as
well as current marketplace conditions and the need to fund the development of
the next generation of innovative medicines," (Lilly spokesman Mark) Taylor
said.</span><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They are pricing according to our desperation for life, and
it makes me sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is the value of
life? Lilly is going to find out. How far can they go? They know we will go as
far as we can to keep the ones we love alive, so they will continue their path.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They are a business after all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This entire insurance game needs to stop. A
friend on Facebook: “<span style="background: #f6f7f9; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue";">We had a baby last year. Uncomplicated birth, the cash
price was $3200. The hospital refused to let us pay that because we were
insured. The insurance price was $8000 and our deductible is $10000 so we paid
more than twice as much just because we are insured.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hospitals, providers, and pharma provide inflated pricing
just to make the insurance companies feel like they are getting a deal. They
are blind to the consequences to the patient, and their financial wellbeing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Also, what if we fought to buy our drugs over the border? I
know it would be a temporary win, but if we stop playing the game here, and buy
from Canada or Mexico, maybe we can force their hand to incite change.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, as stated in my last blog, going to our employers and
asking to put insulin on the preventative drug list so Insulin isn’t subject to
deductibles is great. It can be an immediate help.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But it’s a Band-Aid.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If insulin companies continue to inflate their prices how
will any of this help? Lilly’s rising of their prices RIGHT after our “Insulin
Price Workshop” is a slap in the face. And it’s conceivable they will raise their
prices again within the year. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We aren’t the ones with the problem, Lilly. You are.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Take responsibility for the clusterf-bomb you are helping to
create.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Take responsibility for the lives that are in ruin because
of your decisions.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Diabetes is hard enough. You’ve succeeded in making it
harder. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My children’s futures lay in your hands and you are gambling
with their lives in honor of your bottom line. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m going to tell my story to all that will hear. I urge my
readers to do the same.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Honey. We’re home.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5248101319829846491.post-3274685696186399312017-05-05T06:23:00.000-07:002017-05-05T06:56:53.617-07:00Let's work for better.<div class="MsoNormal">
If the Grand Canyon was created by water, I wonder how my
eyes have yet to become canyons themselves. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last night as the tears flowed uninterrupted, my husband
held me knowing there was nothing he could say. He bounced his feet, rocking me
into a relaxed state so my mind could sleep, and ultimately find a
little rest.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I worry so for my children’s future. These preexisting
conditions that they are strapped with will be a monkey on their back for the
rest of their lives. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Will they be able to afford insulin?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Will they be free to see a doctor or a specialist if needed?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or will they be one of the thousands starting “Go Fund Me”
accounts to stay alive?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I feel like I’m failing them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
America has made it clear: The almighty dollar is more
important than life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And my calls to our representatives and meetings with
Insulin companies are gleaning no immediate change, and such little hope for
the future I wish for.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s easy to demonize people, especially when their choices
have direct affect on our own lives, and the lives of those we love most. But
as I sat in a conference room at Lilly in Indianapolis last month, there was
little room to judge the humanness of the people who worked there. They looked us in the eyes and said all the right things.
They told us they knew that people were hurting, they knew that they needed to
do something. They knew that things needed to change and that’s why we were
there. The change couldn’t be made alone, they need us to help. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Which when I type it sounds completely absurd, but yet it is
true. Part of me wants to yell, “You got us into this situation, now get us
out!” But the truth is, the way American Healthcare works…that is what got us
into this situation, and there is absolutely no easy way out.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Only our voices can incite change in the United States Healthcare System. We vote for people to represent us, they work for us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(Or for special interests. Or for their party. Who knows
anymore.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But as easy as it is to just throw our arms up in the air
and swear at executives and government representatives, we need to suit up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We need to act, and fight, and voice our frustrations in the
right places with the right emotions, at the right time. (Which is now, by the way.)<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lilly has long term and short term solutions. One of the
short term solutions is their 40% off retail program that wasn’t fully
presented to us because our stories cut them short.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I appreciate that you are trying to do something, I promise
I do, but it isn’t enough. Individuals and families are suffering.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Story after story of fears for our futures. Story after
story of struggling to pay to stay alive.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They got it. Tears were in their eyes. Trust me, Lilly
understands the deep urgency of the situation.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While they start work on their end, there is something we
can do on our end. We can sit with our HR departments and explain how much we
are paying for diabetes supplies. We can ask them to change their plans to put
insulin on the Preventative Medicine List. This way insulin will not be subject
to deductibles. You’re employer has the power to do this, and it has been shown
that it will cost less than a dollar per year, per employee to make the change.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It needs to become the norm for employers to challenge PBM’s
(Pharmacy Benefit Managers) on plan design. Employers are at the top of the
food chain; they have the power to do this. But they won’t do it if they don’t
know there is a problem. There is a good chance your employer doesn’t even know
what your family is paying. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On their
end, Lilly will work to make sure that the PBM’s pass on the discounts they are
giving to us. Right now PBM’s are charging us full price and pocketing the discount
difference. They need to feel the pressure from all sides. (On a side note, it is my understanding there will be help resources and even workshops on this topic forthcoming, from a variety of sources.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tell your story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
can make a difference.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Especially now. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Call your senator. Tell them your fears for our future. Tell
them if you are struggling now, and if you are not, tell them about all your
friends that are.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know it doesn’t seem like much but small and simple acts
are what change the world. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t do nothing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Call someone. Write someone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Act.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The more voices, the more the impact. Don’t brace yourself
and hope for the best. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Please don’t.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is a pivotal time in our history. Our stories are
powerful. Don’t be afraid to ask for better.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Perfect will never happen.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let’s work for better. <span style="font-size: xx-small;"><a href="http://www.ydmv.net/">(Thanks Bennet.)</a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p>.................................................................................................................................. </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is a thorough overview of the Lilly Diabetes Insulin
Pricing Workshop <a href="http://www.healthline.com/diabetesmine/lilly-diabetes-insulin-access-workshop-2017" target="_blank">HERE</a>, written by Mike at Diabetes Mine.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Please sign up and join The Affordable Insulin Project <a href="http://affordableinsulinproject.org/" target="_blank">HERE</a>.
Once it is launched it will be a mechanism to help us find a way to reduce
insulin costs. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lilly’s Blink Health, 40% off retail can be found <a href="http://www.ourdiabeticlife.com/2017/01/eli-lilly-insulin-40-off-retail.html">HERE.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Lilly Cares Program can be found <a href="http://www.lillycares.com/" target="_blank">HERE</a>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A list of your senators can be found <a href="https://www.senate.gov/senators/contact/">HERE.</a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A link to the DPAC (Diabetes Patient Advocacy Coalition) App
is <a href="http://diabetespac.org/advocate-diabetes-dpac-app/" target="_blank">HERE</a>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And my love for you and our community can be found <a href="http://www.ourdiabeticlife.com/">HERE,</a>
always.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/53/CA39AFD03B8611BE111DDC74E6B90D36.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Merihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09752883120541646427noreply@blogger.com1