Saturday, January 24, 2015

I know it's hard.

I want you to know: I know it’s hard.

I almost forgot.  When you’re on the other side it’s convenient to forget all the heartache.  There is power in the success of just getting through, and we feed on that power.  We feed on the triumphant-cy of surviving the childhood years with diabetes.

Like childbirth, the pain isn’t remembered, but the rewards are.

Last week I took some time to look back.  I started with blog-post one and moved forward to the present day.

I forgot how intense the worry was.

I forgot how hard the nights were.

I forgot how the milestones were amplified a millions times over…because they meant so much more to us as they were worked for with full heart and mind.

There will be people out there who will tell you that you are overreacting to certain situations within your child’s diabetic life, and maybe you are…. but I’m here today to tell you that I get it.

I remember.

When things are new, and you are in the thick of it, and you are MOTHER, or FATHER, you are going to worry--about it all--about every little thing.  And you are going to want to protect, and fight and micromanage.

You are going to lose sleep.

You are going to wonder, “What if.”

You are going to wish, and hope, and you are going to second-guess decisions you make because they affect the person that is the most important person in your life…

A person YOU brought into this world.  A person that you want to protect from the hurt.

And you can’t.  Because Diabetes hurts.

It’s a wicked process to go through, but one that doesn’t last forever.

Hence, the purpose for this post.

If you can see, that I….Meri Schuhmacher, have been through all those same situations, and all the same worry, and have survived/is surviving…maybe it will help get you through.

Maybe it will help you to know that hard times don’t last forever and all the hard work will yield a remarkable child.

No, don’t feel bad for protecting your child.  Never feel bad for asking questions.  Never let someones eye-roll deter you. But know, there is an army of others that are doing it too, and they are doing what they think is right for their child, as you are too. And they are surviving, even thriving.

Know that all is well.

In the end it will all be ok. 

Ketones eventually go away.

Blood sugars always come down, sooner or later.

Smarties fix those lows.

Time heals wounds.

The further you get from diagnosis the better you will feel.  The timeline is sure.

If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change anything that I did.  But I would change how I felt on the inside.  If I approached every problem with the certainty that everything was going to be ok, I’m sure I would have been much calmer about it.

So if you can, take my certainty now, and make it your own.

It’s all going to be ok.

If you have to worry, than worry.  But know that all that worry is doing is raising your blood pressure. Worry is a ride on a merry-go-round, it may keep you busy but it won't get you anywhere. It won’t make the situation go away, only actions will.

I forgot how hard it was, and I’m sorry I did.

As I sit here and write, "don’t worry," I completely understand that it's easier said than done. 

Having a child that doesn’t stop growing for 15 years is ridiculously difficult.  Especially when their body is unique and can’t be compared to another’s.

But even still, don't worry.

Keep on keeping on, D Mom’s and Dads.  You are appreciated, and loved.

You are amazing. 

And one day, you’ll be on the other side of it all like I am, and know…it’s all going to be ok.  Because time and experience will show you that each new episode of life is survivable.

It’s all going to be ok.

You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.

Rock on.  And if you have to, worry on.  Regardless, it's a life worth living.


9 comments:

  1. This post is exactly why I always try not to assure the "newbies" too much that it will be okay...because it really isn't for quite awhile in the beginning...and they just need someone to listen. ((HUGS)) Been missing you Meri!!

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  2. Could not have been more timely just more than one year in. Thanks!

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  3. Thank you for reassurance that this will get better. Two weeks into it and I'm full of worry.

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  4. What an important message and so beautifully put. You are right -- the beginning months become a blur, years down the road. What you've written is exactly the type of reassurance that parents of newly diagnosed children need to hear! I'm in the process of starting a support group and I'd love to share it, with your permission.

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  5. amen! so well said. I hope this gets shared all over the planet.

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  6. Thank you. Just 7 months into this and I feel it's all I do.....Worry......glad to know it gets better.

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  7. Great reminders, for the new and not-so-new. Thanks, Meri. Someone I know also once said, You Can Do This. And that with this is totally right on.

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  8. No diabetes here, but I'm on my third kid with a life-threatening illness (kidney failure - dialysis - transplant with this one). It gets better. It gets worse. It gets better. But no matter what, we always always always have the joy of being the Mom! You handle it with grace and strength.
    DeeDee
    www.KidNeedsAKidney.blogspot.com

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