Move forward. Keep going. You can do this.
I find myself uttering those words to myself to get me through the day. An anthem I march to as the day sinks onto my body.
I get heavy. The worry weighs on me. My journey's baggage is dredged behind me. I'm barely able to move.
And then, "Carry on."
Enduring is so misunderstood.
Enduring doesn't get the accolades it should. Our life has so much to do with enduring and yet we act surprised when it is so.
"Oh my goodness! So and so lost their job! I can't believe it."
"Oh no! So and so lost the love of their life! Unbelievable!"
"You are kidding! So and so was diagnosed with WHAT?"
All of these things seem to be a surprise, when actually they seem more of the norm than we care to admit.
Life is getting harder. Or is it that I'm just getting older, and life was always hard? Is it that I'm just noticing it more?
I don't think so.
I think bad things, hard things, are happening at a record rate. And for some of us, all we can do in the wake of it all is put our heads down...
And carry on.
But there is a brightness in "carry on" that I think is missed. It isn't ALL about dragging our feet. It isn't moving forward simply because we have to.
Carrying on entails moving forward with hope.
Why else would we move forward if we didn't believe in change for the better?
Enduring is a necessary obstacle to a better tomorrow. When we "Carry on" we are making promises to ourselves that there is something good around the corner. "Endure, do your best, and all will be well." In the state of enduring we might feel like we are not making progress. But in reality we are fighting, and pushing against something...that something is hopelessness.
When we carry on we are saying we won't stand for hopelessness.
Bad blood sugar night?
Carry on! Better sugars are on the horizon.
Site problems and ketones?
Carry on! The problem will be fixed.
Carb counted that buffet wrong?
Carry on! You'll get it next time.
Fight with your spouse? Bad day at work? That guy just cut you off? Did Taco Bell short you a burrito again??
Carry on...carry on...carry on...carry on!
Carry on doesn't allow you to live in the turmoil of past mistakes or tragedies, yours or otherwise. Carry on has you living in today, for the future...which effects your tomorrow for the better.
I know we all have hard days. Hell...last week was one of the hardest for me, the pinnacle of many months of malaise. But I can see now that enduring has brought me to a better place. Not as fast as I would have liked. But it did. And no...not hugely better. But better.
Look for that brightness ahead, friends.
Carry on and remember that things don't always stay the same.
I've been wandering the map for the last few months wondering when things will change for me. Or at least wondering when I'll have a clearer direction.
The fog is lifting. I'm starting to get my bearings. And all I needed to do was carry on.
Sometimes it's all we CAN do. And I don't want you to underestimate the power of it. I know for a lot of us it feels like auto-pilot is almost running us backwards.
But it's not. Give yourself the credit you deserve for the courage you mustered in moving forward when things got hard. There are answers on the other side of the trudging through the mire of life. There is dignity is simply doing our best.
Enduring also builds muscle. Some muscles we didn't even know we had. Maybe that's why enduring hurts so much... we are working out parts of ourselves we didn't even know were there.
I wrote a post a few weeks ago telling how I believe everyone is a hero. A friend of mine stopped me one day to discuss that post. She has seen many more people give up on life than I can wrap my brain around. She said that moving forward isn't as common as I think it is...that my enduring, my "carrying on" is more special than I give it credit for.
And maybe she is right. But I had your back, dear readers. I told her that the people that read MY blog...those people? THEY are trying. THEY are enduring. THEY are looking to do the best they can.
And I believe it. You and I have a lot in common. Our lives aren't easy and yet we put one foot in front of the other and make the most of what we can with what we have.
Or at least I'm hoping to make the most of it all.
I'm ready to look up from all this retrospection and do more than just carry on. Well. I'm almost ready.
I'm almost ready to start aiming for things. To start making goals.
And it feels good. I'm sure being "almost" ready for something seems like a silly thing to blog about. But it feels SO good to see things a bit differently. The landscape is beginning to change and my soul is stretching from it's long enduring dredge. Stretching is exhilarating!
Carry on friends. We can do this. We will do this. We should do this.
Even if we're barely feelin' it.
We are still doing it!