I'm surprised to say that the past few days I've gone through a bit of blogger withdrawals. I missed this place, but I know I needed a break to clear my head. It can be overwhelming to really look at your life and take stock in your feelings. It is freeing, but facing the realities of Our Diabetic Life isn't always rainbows and unicorns.
Not only that, as I look outward my heart is heavy with the burdens that you carry. Parents of children with diabetes, people with diabetes, and people that have nothing whatsoever to do with diabetes. There is a lot of heartache out there. Conflict just seems to be a way of life these days.
I think it is so important to remember that no one leads a perfect life. Everyone has their thing. Recently though, I can't help but feel like everyone has their thing...and another thing too. And even some have more than two things. I look around at my friends and I know their things. I look at the strangers that swarm around me and I know deep down in my heart that they are struggling with a thing or two, too.
SO many "things" on our plates.
The holidays have a tendency to magnify our burdens, either that or they throw our burdens on the back burner entirely. How the holidays can have two completely opposite effects is beyond me. I don't know how much control we have over the different circumstances, but I know we have some.
Many in our community try hard to look their blessings straight in the eye. Others are overwhelmed in their sphere...some are heartbroken, some are bitter, some are lost. My heart aches for each and every one. I'm not judging anyone. I have been in those dark places more than I care to admit...but I want to reach out to those who may be having a hard time right now and let them know that they won't last forever.
Good times are around the corner. Basal rates that are off, the morning spike to 400, the honeymoon, the wonky nighttime numbers, the nights with not more than an hour sleep...it isn't forever. I know, (boy do I ever know,) that when we are in the middle of despair it is hard to see that any good can be juiced out of our situation.
But if you keep working at things, and doing your best...miracles happen. And not just during Christmas.
I want to personally tell you that I have witnessed amazing miracles in my life. I have been at the bottom of the pit of despair...with a few lions in the pit with me...and I have made it out.
I did it by going one day at a time. I did it by asking for help. I did it by calling my endo. I did it by calling my family. Sometimes I did it by just putting one foot in front of another. I know that sometimes, just going through the motions is all we can do. I keep saying it over and over but I feel so strongly that we are all trying too hard to bear our burdens alone...piling them all onto our own shoulders.
The problem with that is our shoulders are human. Not superhuman.
On the flip side, asking for help is awesome, but offering help to others is even more awesome. I'm going to try to be more sympathetic to others problems. I'm really good at saying to myself, "I'm sorry you were up all night with a teething child, but try being up all night with a diabetic child who is vomiting with large ketones."
Comparing helps no one. Comparing makes me a bitter person. More than anything I want people to understand, and feel empathy for our family. I think others who have different "things" want the same as me, and maybe, just maybe, if I show them a bit more compassion...they will show a bit more to me.
Compassion is not a one way street. If you love someone, a lot of times they can't help but love you back.
There is more to life than the numbers at the end of the three second countdown.
There just has to be.
If we look hard enough, we will find our joy. And in the process we can hopefully bring others along on the joyride with us. Especially but not limited to this time of year.