Sunday, December 18, 2011

Do you hear what I hear?

We've had a lot of hiccups in the diabetes arena the past twelve months. Smoothness seems like a bit of a myth these days while "incidents" have taken over our landscape.

Seriously, the kindest way to explain away the year is to simply say it has been "interesting." The boys have grown a foot each, we've used more blood ketone strips in the past two months alone than we have in the past 13 years... and to top it off each and every Sunday has yielded only mountains and valleys. Church falls during lunch hour this year. I've failed miserably trying to control their numbers while they weathered missing lunch altogether.

It isn't fair to say we have been failing...but if not failing, we certainly have done a ton of experimenting, and hopefully have gained enough knowledge because of it to make all the collateral heartache worth it.

Despite the 2011 crazies...I can't help but feel an echo of hopefulness in the air.

Somewhere the drum of hope beats. I feel its vibrations in my soul.

Everything is going to be alright.

I can't go back in time and fix all the gaffes. But I can look forward with optimism to our future.

Because here's the thing...we have survived. And more than that...we have grown stronger. Diabetes has thrown us so many curve balls, but yet we haven't stopped swinging. We haven't given up. We have learned how to handle the worst of situations on our own. We have learned not to take the good numbers for granted. We have learned that when things go our way it isn't a time to go into autopilot...on the contrary it is time to work hard to stay the course.

Bad numbers are a lot of work. Good numbers are a lot of work. Diabetes is a lot of work. And here we are still going strong. Even the most recent of our wounds have healed and we bear our battle scars proudly. I look at my boys and they beam with happiness. Isn't that a win?

Some days I hear the echoes of hope ever so faintly. It is the last of the echoes so far in the distance, I have a hard times acknowledging they are there.

But other days...like today...I feel like the echoes roll like thunder over and over again. I am inspired by the season. I am wrapped up in the blessings of our diabetic life. My boys are weathering the storm like the champions they are. I am one proud mother.

They can do this.

I can do this.

One day year at a time.

4 comments:

  1. A song that was sung at our church yesterday had a line like "this is a very strange way to save the world". I was reminded that viewing the Christmas story - we have the full benefit of seeing God's hand over many years. But in the crazier moments, Mary and Joseph must have been freaking out and wondering "Are you there God? Why this new problem? Do you know they just lost our hotel reservation? And you decide NOW is when I should go into labor?"

    So I remind myself that I need to trust God that he has a plan, a great and glorious one, and that some day, I will get to see how diabetes, with all of its challenges fit into God's plan for my son and our family's life. Merry Christmas Meri!

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  2. I look at my boys and they beam with happiness. Isn't that a win?

    YES.

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