Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Valentines Day: Wherein...I get knocked down.

Captains Log: Valentines Day…the REAL Valentines Day, was wonderful…the kids had the day off thanks to the broke California School System, so we enjoyed a day at the movies and just plain relaxin!

BUUUUUUT: Last Friday was the real/fake school Valentines Day Celebrations.

Rating: F for “what the FLIP happened?!”

It started with L not bolusing for breakfast. This has become a problem. I tell him what to bolus…he takes out his pump…and for some flippin reason, it just doesn’ t happen. I’m talkin’ like twice a week. Out of nowhere! So…it is my job now. I give the breakfast boluses…

But I digress.

Friday…he didn’t get that Bolus, and he called me at snack with a lovely…(NOT)…425.

"Bolus"…I tell him. And he boluses. By lunch he is 140 and is rearing to go!

(Side note: I used to pick the boys up immediately when they were so high. But you know what happened...within the hour...they were fine. And then I had to bring them back. So the new rule is, if they want to stay, and the teacher doesn't feel like it is bringing them too down, I let them stay. If they don't come down nicely by the next check I pick them up. But I'm not so fast to pick them out of school anymore. I give them a choice. They usually choose to stay.)

So…of course he wanted to stay…it was the Valentines Party for goodness sake!!!

L called me at 2:00, as I was driving to the school. “I’m going to have a small strawberry muffin.”

“A muffin? That is weird.”

“Well, it is pink. And it looks like a muffin to me...”

“Fine. 30 carbs. I’ll be right there.”

What that small strawberry muffin turned out to be was a strawberry cupcake with frosting piled higher than the cupcake. It was a 60 carber for sure. But if that wasn’t enough…he has already eaten almost ALL the candy from his bag.

Hold the phone! How the H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS was that allowed?

“My teacher said so!”

I looked up and there was a sub. She works in the class, so she knows of his diabetes. I walked over to her and mentioned that L had just eaten 10 starbursts, 3 Hershey kisses and 2 fun sized candy bars.

“I kept asking if he was ok!” She says. “I kept asking if he had checked his sugar!” She says.

I know…she doesn’t KNOW. I can’t blame her…but my fail was only made more insulting when I walked into B’s classroom and he was chomping on a Hershey kiss.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I did…you didn’t answer.”

“So did you check your sugar?”

“Of course!”

“Did you bolus for any of this.”

“Nope.”

“What did you eat?”

“A cupcake, 2 cookies and most of my candy.”

“B, you KNOW you shouldn’t have eaten all that! And incidentally...my crystal ball is broken. How am I supposed to know how many carbs you actually ate?”

“I know mom…but it's Valentines Day!”

How am I to argue with that? He is almost always responsible. What would my rebuttal had been? “How dare you want to be a normal kid! How dare you enjoy this party!”

Heaven help me. Heaven please please help me.

I SWAGed the carbs for the boys…I purposely rage bolused because I was so disgusted with myself and the complete lack of help I get in the school system.

Their sugars were brilliant after. But that wasn't the point. The point was…I was so flipping tired of these battles…of these “incidents!” I lamented for hours that I didn't have a pinch hitter, and at the same time I felt so sucky about it because someday I will be able to walk away from this, (for the most part,) and my boys will not. Diabetes had me down...big time. I felt like I was failing my boys. I was D.O.N.E.

And then the next day...the VERY NEXT DAY...the boys numbers were spot on. They called me and texted me when they were supposed to. B called and said there was a birthday, but he would rather eat the cupcake when he was home with me. Everything went smooth as silk.

And I feel better.

Diabetes is such a emotional roller coaster. One day you can be SO down in the dumps. SO tired and DONE with this disease, and the next day you are like, "I totally got this."

It reminds me of this song. The chorus of the song is really the only thing relevant here...but it is so true for us living the Diabetic Life...I had to embed it into this post. I just had to.

We get knocked down...ALL THE TIME! But you know what...we get back up again, every time. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. We ALWAYS get back up. And that is something...


21 comments:

  1. After quite a few weeks of feeling up, D has knocked me down on my ass. Thanks for reminding me that this is NORMAL.

    Sorry about all the valentine's day crap. Stupid made up holidays...

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  2. “I know mom…but it's Valentines Day!”
    :( That part really got me. . .
    It never gives a break. . and Easter eggs. . .and 4th of July cookouts. . .and Halloween candies. . .and Thanksgiving pie. . .and Christmas candy canes. . .and your very own birthday . . and how can you expect a kiddo to understand why when moms can't either--
    prayers & love your way,
    mj

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  3. (and by "how can you expect" i didn't mean you, like how could you (meri) even expect that from your son!?!? :)) i just meant like how in the world can a kiddo even begin to comprehend the whys. . .b/c it's so hard!...okay are you laughing at my explaining...i need a disclaimer on all my comments...."this comment is not made by a type one mom but a type one sister and even though her comments may not sound right because she types faster than she can think, she really does "get it," at least more than the average punk"
    :)

    mj

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  4. alright lady...what is a "rage bolus"...and is it okay that some of this actually made me laugh a bit, that poor sub and her inability to fully grasp what t1d is, your boys seeing all that damn candy (BTW when did valentines day become halloween?!) and then the flipside of awesome numbers the next day. It seems to be just one of those days with d, reminding us that no matter how we feel we've got it wrangled it's still a beast to deal with.

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  5. Oh, yah. I totally hear ya on the rage bolus. We had a sub nurse on Monday and she FORGOT to bolus for lunch. I'm okay with mistakes. I can deal with them.

    But forgetting on VALENTINE'S DAY???

    I have to remind myself that
    1) I'm thankful to have a nurse at all.

    and

    2) Rage bolus to the rescue. Tomorrow is a new day.

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  6. I hear ya...I've been knocked down more than I care to mention lately...fortunately, like you said we can and do get back up again. It's nice to knowing I'm not alone in this...but would be even nicer if none of us had to deal with it at all!

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  7. Wow, what a Valentine's Day! You do a super terrific job balancing multiple children with diabetes. I'm glad to hear that everything turned out ok in the end.

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  8. OK - I'm also curious what a "rage bolus" is?? :)

    We got lucky this V Day - I sent my mother in law to school with him and she shadowed him and bolused as he ate. Next year will be much more interesting, I am sure.

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  9. We roll with highs just like we roll with lows. Treat 'em..move on. I do ge worried myself over the sub thing. I made a point to tell the nurse and teachers to make the subs aware...but...do we have any control over that situation. NO!!

    You have good boys...and then there is Lawton. (hehehe)

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  10. I felt a little similar on V-day only I have just one child to have to fight the school on. I'm so glad the day after was so much better for you.

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  11. Oh SWEET SWEET Meri!!! I honestly do not know how you stay SANE! Move to VERMONT! To ESSEX JUNCTION, VT. Live with me...the boys can go to schools where there are school nurses 100% of the time...Come on, pleeeeeeze!!!

    LOVE YOU...

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  12. I have a heavy heart tonight, wondering if I'm doing the right thing about my own little one's V-day party tomorrow (don't ask why it's being held 4 days AFTER the day .. .), and I'm so glad that I decided to check D-blogs tonight. We are newly pumping, and have been ordered not to snack for this initial phase, until basals are tweaked properly. It's really breaking my heart to ask him not to have the treats with his class, and I'm feeling very torn with just saying 'screw-it' to the no-snacking bit since it is, after all, a 'holiday.' Right? Ugh. Thanks for sharing!
    :O)

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  13. OH MY GOSH. If this was me in the first few years Id be a raging lunatic!! Thank goodness for peace in the 4th year :) ((HUGS)) Love ya Meri! Where ya been?

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  14. Oh, I hear you. I'm starting hate school parties! And I haven't even had to deal with one!! I hate this torn feeling all the time between D and being a kid. I don't deal to well with mistakes. I think I'm in for it. Thank God for folks Luke you who gave travelled this road ahead of me and are there for support! :)

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  15. Youre my hero. Seriously. J had a party. Whenever he does I come help out count carbs bolus. But X that by 3!? Holy sh*t!!

    Youre amazing dont forgt it.

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  16. Justin forgets to bolus to... pump out... buttons pushed... and in the end... NOTHIN??? I don't get it.

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  17. I guess it shouldn't, but holy cow this made me laugh at the absurdity of it all! I almost expected you to say April Fool's at any moment.

    What I love, is that they put fun first. "But it's Valentine's day". You've taught them well, and we all know they are all responsible about their D. How you've managed that and managed to nurture a balance of fun with the responsibility is truly impressive and inspirational.

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  18. I never post comments - EVER. But I have been subscribing to your blog and love it. It makes me laugh (and cry) and is so comforting to know we are not alone and someone else out there is going through the same 'ups' and 'downs'. :-) So far we have only one T1 in the family and touch wood it stays that way, I have so much admiration for you and love your sense of humour. Our little type 1 starts school on Monday, so interesting times ahead...

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  19. Oh my word, Meri! What a story.

    I will confess..... It helps to know that I'm not alone when one day is rock bottom and the very next day I am soaring! So totally wacko!

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  20. Yep, D has had me on my rear end quite a bit lately. I already hate school parties and Lovebug is only in preschool. I'm pretty sure I will have a love/hate relationship in that area.

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