Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The most awesome thing I have done, in spite of diabetes is...

The most awesome thing I have done in spite of diabetes?

Hands down, easiest question ever...

These two little munchkins right here.

As most of you know, J was diagnosed when he was 8 months old. J is my second son...B and L wern't even on the radar yet.

It was scary, and deliriously confusing when we were told J had Type 1 Diabetes. We spent a week in the hospital…mostly for J to recover from his ketoacidosis…and a little bit because I needed to learn how to take care of my little boy. (The hospital obviously didn’t think this was too big of a deal, they sent me home with a book and my pediatricians home phone number. “Call him when you need to give insulin.” Yeah, that got old fast, for all of us involved.)

Anyway…back to the hospital….My husband or someone would try to come by once a day to give me a break. I would usually go down to the cafeteria and spend my time feeling guilty I wasn’t with J. I would silently sob in the corner and pick at my food.

One particular day I was in line for the food and already felt tears falling on my cheek. A friendly faced older lady put her hand on my shoulder. “What’s your story, honey?”

I told her how my second son had just been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and the new world we were being thrown in. I told her he was so sick and so skinny, it was hard to see him in such a state.

“Well at least you have two boys…since you won’t be having any more, you are very lucky to have them.”

Say what the huh?

That hit me like a ton of bricks.

Really? I’m not having any more? Was she right? I mean that was the last thing on my mind…but did this mean it was the end of the line? Two and no more?

She wasn’t the only one to make this comment. Many others made comments to the effect that I better not have more, as I didn’t want to pass this on to another child.

Pass it on? Was I really passing it on? For awhile the answer in my mind was yes. I felt like this had to be my fault. I felt like J was being punished just so that I could learn to be a better person. (Diagnosis and lack of sleep do a number on your swelly brain!)

But the passage of time is a funny thing…

Time changes perspectives.

Time heals wounds, even mental ones.

And one day, I knew…we needed to have another.

And one day, exactly two years later, God sent us another.

And then yeah, THEN we were done.

Two years after our last son came into our family…diabetes made another appearance.

And one year later…another appearance.

Do I regret having these two boys? Hell no.

Do I feel responsible for their diabetes. No, no I don’t.

We are like lottery winners; no one could have predicted our lot. NO ONE.

We were told we had a 3% chance of having a second child with diabetes.

That is a 97% chance that we wouldn’t. But who cares about percentages. You never know where you will fall, so they are useless. All that is important is I have two of the most precious souls in the universe here in my home. Yes, they have diabetes. Yes, I wish they didn’t have to endure diabetes…

But they are thriving.

And they are happy.

And they are part of a bigger picture.

I can’t imagine life without B and L. Would I have had them if I KNEW they were going to have Type 1?

I think they would have hoped…that regardless of their circumstances, I would have said yes.

This post is my February entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival. If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2011/introducing-the-dsma-blog-carnival


  1. This was so touching. Diabetes and all, our children are precious gifts from God!

  2. Beautiful Meri. All 4 of these precious boys were meant to be yours. I'm so glad you didn't stop at 2!

  3. Everybody is going to have something with wrong with them, whether a disease, emotional instability, etc. God chose not to make us perfect. We grow despite our imperfections, and because of them. It's just that some flaws are more obvious b/c they require more people to know about them! Even those born supposedly perfect make bad choices and end up with pretty sad lives. Saying yes to children despite a family diabetes diagnosis is 100 percent worth it. I would say yes again and again. I love that you did! Your family is absolutely beautiful.

  4. As a parent of five kids, they are the ultimate gift! As a parent of 2 type 1 kids, I honor you and your family as I know the work it takes to keep em healthy.

  5. Really really touching Meri. You are truly amazing and inspiring. Glad we will able to have the chance to get to know you guys better now that you've to our side of town! Woot!

  6. Meri-

    Wow! Your post almost had me in tears! It was interesting to look at things from your point of view.

    Thank you for participating in the blog carnival.


  7. Beautiful post! I can remember having people tell me I was crazy to get pregnant after Charlotte was diagnosed...she was diagnosed in October 05 and we found out I was pregnant in January 06. I never really gave it a second thought...had I listened to those people I wouldn't have my precious little girl.

  8. This was an absolutely GREAT post Meri! Every child, regardless of if they have T1, cancer, or any other disease... or no disease at all... is a blessing from God. We may not know what cards we are handed until they are turned over, but, we all do our best to play those cards to the best of our abilities!

  9. Looking at those sweet faces... I would say HELL YA you would have had them :)

    Just imagine the greatness THEY will accomplish in spite of D.

    Love ya!

  10. My gosh - why don't people think before the words come out of their mouths!

    Yay you, Meri! You doubled your house of awesomeness. Okay, well I guess only increased it by 50% when you consider you and your awesome hubby. :)

  11. Oh Meri, what a beautiful post. How dare anyone ever suggest that you shouldn't have had two more babies, or that diabetes in any of your children is your fault!!! What a terrible sentiment to spread. Thank goodness you are one smart lady and knew better than to take ignorant words to heart. Your family is perfect - just the way they are!

  12. We decided long before Isaac was born that two children were all we needed...yet, people time and time again say, "well, it's a good thing you're done." This was very touching for me Meri, thanks for sharing. I know that I would have had another child if my first would have been dx with d - I know that the lives of children with or without any "conditions" are complete gifts and I will never understand why people say the things that they do.
    And your boys are beautiful!

  13. You are an awesome mom and blogger! Your family is lucky to have you around!!

  14. You are my hero! I love this post! I often think of you and your family when I get the "thought" about Jack (Ellie's little brother) and whether he may someday have a D-day. I think for me I will feel bad for him, I won't have the fear like I did with Ellie because I know he'll be ok...but I will feel bad for the challenge he would face if diagnosed. Jack was 4 months old when Ellie was diagnosed and I have often said that I was really glad that we did have Jack before D-day because we would have gone through all the comments that you are talking about! Now I just get the comments because of my age!!! Like she developed D because I was older and having a child??? Fools...Ha! People don't usually think too hard when talking out loud...seems like the more sensitive people should be, the worse they are at it! ((hugs))


Moderation now enabled, so comments will not immediately be seen.