HOPE: (verb) To wish for something with expectation of fulfillment. (Noun) The theological virtue defined as the desire and search for the future good, which is difficult, but not impossible with Gods help.
JOY: (noun) Intense or especially ecstatic or exultant happiness. (verb) To take great pleasure, rejoice.
PEACE: (noun) Inner contentment, serenity, peace of mind.
The feelings of the season. We see these words flashing through the bright store windows. They are hanging on our Christmas tree. They are sung in the holiday carols at church, and on the radio and in our homes.
These words embody my deepest wishes for 2011.
I want to have these feelings…not just one month a year, but all year round.
I want to remain hopeful come January.
I want to continually find joy in the New Year and beyond.
I yearn for inner peace every day of the year.
I’ve learned the hard way that life isn’t just about enduring. It is about LIVING.
And I want to LIVE.
I don’t want to lose hope in tomorrow. I don’t want the unknown to eat at my edges.
I don’t want to have ‘no joy.’ I’ve been there…and it is as miserable as it sounds. I am a firm believer that men are that they might find joy. We need to find a way to be happy in our current circumstances. OR, we need to find a way to change our current circumstances to find our happy.
I want to let go of the inner turmoil. I want to have peace of mind. I want to remember that the bad times do not last forever…that good times are always right around the corner.
Hope, Joy and Peace...save me holiday Superheroes! Help me find a brighter path through 2011!
Sure, some days I need to put my head down and just plain endure…but I have to remember that sometimes I need to raise my head on my own power…raise my head and SEE the beauty that is around me. SEE that this is my day…my time to mother. Our children are only children once and I don’t want mine remembering a mother that was miserable and simply endured the day to day. I want my boys to look back and see a mother who put the bad numbers behind her immediately…who didn’t let guilt rule her life. A mother who didn’t lament her child’s loss of insulin producing beta cells every day of the year…but instead, gloried in the fact that she can administer insulin for them…and they will LIVE.
And because they live…I want them to live life to the fullest, and I want to live life to the fullest.
There is a quote that says “90% of what we worry about never comes to pass.”
It is a big ol' fat waste of time to spend day after day in constant worry of what ‘could’ happen…when we can save that worry for a time when that something ‘actually’ happens.
Another quote says, “More damage is done by worrying, then what is being worried about.”
So I look forward to 2011 with my greatest wishes being:
* To remain hopeful.
* To find joy always.
* To nurture my inner peace in the day to day diabetes grind.
I pray that the feelings of the season remain with me. I pray that when I do worry, (because it is inevitable,) that I will consciously make an effort to lift my head up out of the fog.
I pray that I when I force my head up, I will look at those around me and realize how lucky I am. Every day of the year.
I am blessed. This year, I hope I never lose sight of that...even when I do have a legitimate something to worry about.
On a side note: Thank you for making this such a memorable year for me. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for your love and support in your comments, you have no idea how much they mean to me. They fuel me...they carry me through the day to day diabetes grind. I have shed many tears reading your kind and helpful words. Thank you for your wonderful giving hearts. Thank you to those who write blogs. Your words bring me peace...knowing I'm not alone in all of this is priceless. This is a rare Christmas when most of my brothers and sisters and their families will be in town for the next week and a half. I'm going to be busy catching up with them and playing with my beyond adorable nieces and nephews. So if I'm unable to pop on before then: