Let me tell ya, I don’t pretend to know everything….even though sometimes I am convinced I do. There is some bit of logic that hangs around that tells me…”Meri, you still have a load to learn.” As a mom, I like to think I know more than my kids, but every day they surprise me. Every day they come up with a something that throws me for a loop, which makes me stop and say, “Whoa! That was crazy insightful!” They are rock stars like that…
(I am getting off topic…I’m going to reign myself in now.)
Any hoo…I am not all knowing. Do I know more than a lot of people about diabetes? Hell yeah!!
Do I know more than everyone? Hell no!!
But what I do know…what I promise I KNOW with every fiber of my being…is I do know how to handle my boys highs and lows. I know my boys reactions to foods better than everyone other than the man upstairs. I know what foods work best for lows…I know the best corrections to use at certain times of the day…I know so many tiny seemingly insignificant details that it would drive a normal person mad. (Heck, I’m halfway to Madville!)
I know MY boys. Doesn’t mean I’m always right…but I am the BEST person to make decisions on their behalf.
That being said, just because pudding at midnight works for my youngest like a magic doesn’t mean it will work for your kiddo. Just because I turn off my youngest pump for an hour when his blood sugar is 100 at 10:00pm, doesn’t mean doing that for your child will yield the same results.
That is the thing...diabetic dilemmas can be handled a slew of different ways. Just because I am convinced that bananas at 8:00pm are the miracle answer to nighttime lows…doesn’t mean that will work for everyone else. (Come on…I have a million and one different examples…you’re not getting sick of them already???)
That is why it is SOOOO important in our community to say what you would do, and do it in a way that lets that person know, “If you don’t do it my way, it doesn’t mean you are doing it the wrong way.” Because…THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT WAYS! Especially with diabetes. I think our community is mostly on board with this. Everyone has always been very kind with their comments, and have been as helpful as they can be without stepping on toes…
Through blog comments and observations it boggles my mind the things different people come up with! I will be sure I am handling things correctly when someone will come along with a completely new approach! I love hearing everyone’s input! I love hearing what others would do if they were in my situation! Hey, just recently I heard that upping a basal rate for 8 hours after pizza can help the “after pizza hurricane” go away. (Basel rates!) It might not work for my kids…but heck, it is worth a try. And I choose to give it a try…
But, if I didn’t, would that make me a bad mother?
Which brings me to my point, (I know it always takes me FOREVER to get there,) But I am here now, and my intended topic is this…pump pushing. Poor Lora has had me on her case for months. I’ve tried REALLY REALLY hard not to push it on her. Like seriously, I had to make a conscience effort. I KNOW that the pump is easier. I know that living life on your own schedule and not your insulin’s schedule is a blessing. But just because I know this for me…doesn’t mean it is 100% right for her. Only she can tell you if I have pushed too hard…but beyond that…I hope she feels like this is her decision, and not something she HAS to do.
Because I have to continually remind myself that, believe it or not, there are many people in this world on MDI, (multiple daily injections,) and they are thriving.
And when you have been doing MDI for so many years, and your child’s blood sugar numbers are good, there is a comfort in that. There is comfort in knowing what to do at 8:00 at night, when your child is 102…that this many carbs will do the trick of bringing so and so up to where they need to be. Beautiful predictability…it is an awesome thing!
Now look, pump pushing seems like kinda a harsh phrase…but I am sitting her raising my hand straight up in the air as guilty as the rest of the world…I know without a shadow of a doubt that the diabetic community is encouraging others to go on the pump with only love and the best of intentions. We want everyone to feel the weight it took off our shoulders; we want the world to have the ease of use! I honestly want to shout from the rooftops PUMPS ARE THE BEST INVENTION IN THE HISTIORY OF THE WORLD!!!! And I’m not saying that I haven’t done that before. :)
But, and this is a big but…we all started pumps on our own clock…the time in our lives when it made sense to us. Hell, it took 4 years for our endo to convince us to go on. And I resisted, because shots were doing their job…blood sugars were as good as they could be for our toddler…so I fought it like any protective, caring mother would. And one day shots were not working anymore, and I literally gave in. I raised the white flag, and gave up. “Fine, I’ll give the pump a try, but I’ll probably hate it. I don’t like having a constant reminder of my child’s diabetes, but if this is my last resort, I’ll take it.” It was ultimately my choice, or better explained as my rock and my hard place, but after getting used to the pump it was a no brainer for me to have my other two boys put on pumps immediately after their diagnosis.
But that was my path to take.
And everyone deserves the freedom to make their own informed decisions.
One of my friends has two boys that are T1. One is on the pump. One is on MDI. If you sat with her and listened to her reasoning, you would agree that their decision was brilliant. The best choice for their family!
So here I sit…conflicted yet resolved. Yes, pumps are the best thing since sliced bread. No, you are not a bad mother (or father) if your child is not on a pump.
That is my crazy brain, and I’m stickin’ to it.